Sixteen Rules to Live By Revisited

cropped-courage.pngI discovered these ’16 rules I try to live by’ in 2007 but did not know who to attribute them to. Today I discovered they can be attributed to Go Daddy Founder and Executive Chairman, Bob Parsons.

As I read these principles again I found wisdom in them and they immediately brought to mind The Eight Irresistible Principles of Having Fun. So I have included both in this article for your reading pleasure.

Continue reading “Sixteen Rules to Live By Revisited”

Does Solitude Have a Place in Your Life?

meditationcollage

Though it’s technically possible to be connected thousands of people thousands of miles away—anytime, anywhere—too much of a good thing can lead to a bad place. Solitude is a human need and to deny it is unhealthy for both mind and body. Living in a technologically connected 24/7 society that undervalues solitude and overvalues attachment is stressful and stress is a killer.  Continue reading “Does Solitude Have a Place in Your Life?”

Stop Trying to Change Your Life by Changing Your Thoughts

 

By Tina Gilbertson

It doesn’t work.

You already know this. You’ve told yourself a hundred times to think about it a different way. Or you’ve tried not to think about it at all, that thing that happened that you can’t seem to let go of.

Your thoughts are not the problem. Continue reading “Stop Trying to Change Your Life by Changing Your Thoughts”

Lessons Learned Outside the Classroom: Letting Go, Moving On, and Growing

Lessons Learned Outside the Classroom- Letting Go, Moving On, and GrowingCollege and school teach many things. While primary schools is very much about learning facts and figures, college is more about learning who you are and what you’re passionate about. A lot of self-realization and personal growth happens in college—not the least of which being how to become a true adult. These lessons aren’t learned in hushed college lecture halls or busy college lab rooms—they’re learned through experiences and friendships that teach us who we are and who we want to be. One lesson that I learned during my college experience is how to let go and move on after a challenging time. Continue reading “Lessons Learned Outside the Classroom: Letting Go, Moving On, and Growing”

Celebration of Health Posts 2011

My purpose is to live consciously and courageously in the now moment, to resonate with love and compassion, and to leave this world in peace. My overall goal is to take good care of myself and live my life to the fullest.  Developing self-compassion and achieving my health and wellness goals has meant overcoming many barriers by use of skillful means.

Continue reading “Celebration of Health Posts 2011″

8 Fibromylagia Therapies

People with fibromyalgia experience a range of symptoms of varying intensities that wax and wane. Those symptoms are usually invisible to others  and many people with fibromyalgia push themselves too far until they trigger collapse.  What’s  key to well-being for people with fibromylagia is  taking charge of their own health,  employing  effective therapies,  learning how to cope,  and maintaining a positive attitude. Continue reading “8 Fibromylagia Therapies”

Are your cosmetics hazardous to your health?

We live in youth obsessed society and the vast array of cosmetics available to us are evidence of  our determination to pursue and project a youthful  external image to the grave. Pervasive and persuasive advertising cosmetics industry campaigns have created a highly lucrative and growing market for anti-aging  and  presumed beauty creating products. There’s  also cross-over marketing that targets beauty product consumers by purporting  such products can do much for their health.  But is that true? Continue reading “Are your cosmetics hazardous to your health?”

Set Yourself Free

freedomYou are responsible for where you are in life at  this moment – what you think about yourself and others and how you feel and whom you choose to share your life with.  Stress is literally a killer and if you are unsatisfied with the way things are now, you  can choose to take personal responsibility to change them and set yourself free to become the best you that you can be. Continue reading “Set Yourself Free”

The Observer Within

buddha face Tim Ferris brings an analytical, yet accessible, approach to the challenges of self-improvement and career advancement through what he calls “lifestyle design.” His 2007 book, The 4-Hour Workweek , a self-improvement program of four steps: defining aspirations, managing time, creating automatic income and escaping the trappings of the 9-to-5 life.

Tim describes our modern worker society as believing that responding to email is doing actual work. We’ve become a society of digital bit pushers that have no more found a way to be happy than the pencil pushers that have come before us, except now everything buzzes, flashes, beeps and demands our attention. And it feels good to engage in that finite moment of Pavlovian validation so we keep doing it. But in the end we have accumulated nothing but a digital log of empty experiences that have done nothing to advance our respective goals in life and we wonder why we are so miserable.

Each of us  has to face the truth of our lives based on the decisions and belief systems in which we have invested. If we don’t like the results then it is up to us to change,  and that’s easier said than done because it’s hard to view yourself  objectively and thus understand what to do next.

Are subconscious beliefs sabotaging your personal power?

What’s at your core? It’s not always easy to slice into the center and uncover our core beliefs and values. When we do this we may find some very negative ones left over from childhood. If you got more “I can’t” than “I can” messages as a child, you are probably having more “I can’t” than “I can” experiences as an adult. In other words, if you heard messages from parents and other authority figures that told you that your opinion didn’t count and that your actions didn’t matter, you are likely to have subconscious beliefs that mirror those ideas. The result is often a person with deep insecurities about their ability to positively affect the course of their lives.

Some people overcompensate for this feeling of powerlessness by making a career out of becoming powerful. Usually this sense of power is achieved by acquiring money, possessions and social status. Unfortunately, these external signs of power seldom satisfy the gnawing feeling of insecurity and powerlessness within. People with authentic power can have an abundance of money, possessions and social status, but their personal power does not come from the things they have, but rather from who they are.

Your self-esteem profoundly influences how others view you. If your self-esteem is high, other people will tend to see you that way also. However, if your self-esteem is low, others will respond accordingly with a lack of confidence and trust in you.

The way people treat you is a reflection of your subconscious beliefs. If you want to change how you are treated, you need to change the self-sabotaging beliefs causing undesirable treatment. As the saying goes, “If you can’t love yourself, you can’t expect others to.”

Sample Affirmations:

1. I deeply appreciate and accept myself.
2. I trust the decisions I make.
3. I trust the guidance I am receiving.
4. I do my best and my best is good enough.
5. I deserve to be happy.
6. I am worthy of the very best that life has to offer.
7. I acknowledge my ability and responsibility to make a positive difference in the world.
8. I actively embrace the opportunities that come with change.
9. I am true to my personal vision.
10. I am willing to take the risks necessary to live my life openly and honestly.
11. I give myself permission to do what I love.
12. I am proud of who I am and I am a good person.

To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.

The Internal Observer < – click the title to view the youtube video.

The Eternal Observer is a powerful tool for self-improvement and personal development. The Internal Observer is an aspect of the Self, the part of the psyche capable of self-observation, evaluation and reasoning. During our journey through life, we face different situations that are both challenges and learning experiences. Many times our paths seem to reach a crossroads. At these moments, the only resource to be accessed comes straight from the Light and the knowledge of ones own soul.

Through developing and installing an Internal Observer we widen our personal ability to be self-reflective and therefore enabling ourselves to be more aware of our environment, interactions and relationships.

The Humanity Healing Network is offering series of free classes to help you achieve Self-Mastery in your life. The Internal Observer is one of the tools you will learn.

FMS, CMS Spring Conditioning Update

This winter I became sedentary as the pain of the fibromyalgia FMS flare-ups and the chronic fatigue CFS symptoms I experienced were severe, and I became severely depressed. Insomnia became a factor along with exhaustion. I lost muscle tone and weight and descended from being fit to becoming becoming unfit very rapidly. Continue reading “FMS, CMS Spring Conditioning Update”

Which Vitamins Are Antioxidants?

good foodAntioxidants are a group of compounds that help to protect the body from the formation and elimination of free-radicals. Free-radicals are formed from exposure to sunlight and pollution and also as a byproduct of cell metabolism. Alcohol, cigarette smoke, stress and even diet also affect the level of free-radical development in the body. Continue reading “Which Vitamins Are Antioxidants?”

Fibromyalgia: Acknowledge Pain, Plan and Manage Life Well

This woman tells it like it is.

Rebecca, 52, has been living with fibromyalgia for more than 30 years. After struggling without proper treatment for years, she took control of her disease and utilized alternative therapies like cognitive-behavioral therapy, acupuncture, and chiropractic manipulation.

Continue reading “Fibromyalgia: Acknowledge Pain, Plan and Manage Life Well”

Tips for Coping with Fibromyalgia at Home

In this video there are some practical tips for around the house that will make living with fibromyalgia a lot easier.

A lot of these tips deal with easing the pain on your hands because it is one of the most common areas people suffering from fibromyalgia experience pain.

Visit the site for resource/product recommendations and reviews, news stories, videos discussions, articles, Q&As and more discussing fibromyalgia.

Take Good Care During the Holidays

ornaments.jpg The 2009 holiday season is officially here and while most of us look forward to the excitement of the season, some may be overwhelmed by the stress of shopping, winter travel conditions, office parties,  and family gatherings. Although we all hope that peace will prevail when friends and relatives get together in the season of good cheer, the stress  can trigger difficult behavior  in some people.

Continue reading “Take Good Care During the Holidays”

Effective strategies for conscious living

circle As a child I was a seeker full of questions and as an adult I’m still a seeker and questioner. I am committed to opening my mind as wide as possible to all possibilities.

Are you a seeker and questioner too? Or do you have all the answers?

Continue reading “Effective strategies for conscious living”

Silence is Medicine for the Soul

alg2532In this mad world filled with video, TV, cell phone mania, and music of all kinds at all times and in all places, how much do you desire and value silence?

Do you yearn for silence or view it as an uncomfortable experience?

Do you make time for silence or do you avoid it?

I choose to start my days in silence with nothing on my agenda other than just being and meditating. I rise early and sit bundled up on deck chair with my cup of cocoa between my hands. As I inhale the aroma my mouth watering in anticipation of the moment the first creamy swallow will glide over my tongue, I sigh a single audible sigh, and then begin to seek the silence.

Sitting alone in a quiet place can be a difficult experience. Without distractions, we can feel bombarded by unpleasant thoughts and emotions. All the ways we’re unhappy about ourselves and our lives come raging back into our awareness when there’s space for them to come up.– How Getting Used To Silence Can Help Your Productivity by Christopher R. Edgar on Productivity

Observing silence outwardly but allowing my mind to be noisy wouldn’t do so when I finish I rise from my chair, sit my cup on the table and position myself cross-legged on the cushion I place there for this purpose. Then I begin by simply following my breath in and out. Not striving to change it in anyway simply observing it. With eyes half closed I witness my monkey mind cavorting from topic to topic and yammering, yammering, yammering about the things I must accomplish today. I pay this no mind but neither do I push it away. I continue to follow my breath – Buddhist Meditation: Mindful Breathing Practice. In time my monkey mind will quietly come to rest as I make the shift into consciousness — into the meditative state.

Some time later I make the shift back into everyday awareness filled  with the knowledge that all of us, all over the world, are living breathing cells in the body of humanity nurtured by the silence, a spacious place for growth.

Throughout the ages sages have emphasized the value of silence saying that talking expends energy and time, while silence insures we use our resources judiciously. An early defender of Quakerism, Robert Barclay, emphasized on how much more powerful silence is than any argument used to dissuade a person from the error of his ways. Indeed, self improvement coaches, counselors and writers exhort us to befriend silence for they have personal knowledge of its power.

For decades I have sought silence several times every day and cannot imagine what it would be like never to experience this peace and quiet and the benefits it brings me. Silence refreshes me and heals me of the exhaustion and angst caused by the noise of every day life. Silence provides the spaciousness in which my many scattered parts can come together and mend. Silence provides the canvas upon which my next painting will appear first on the back of my eyelids and then in reality.

What relationship do you have with silence?

Earthlings seek loving compatible partners

According to an Oxford economist, marriage and cohabiting rates in developed countries can be linked to attitudes towards the roles of men and women, and views on who is responsible for doing the housework and looking after the children. Both men and women have shown they are more likely to want a live-in relationship with the opposite sex if they think their partner will do a share of the housework and childcare duties. —  Men Who Do The Housework Are More Likely To Get The Girl Continue reading “Earthlings seek loving compatible partners”

Brain science

Most famous for his work with Palm where he took part in creating the first handheld computers, Jeff Hawkins has recently got himself into neuroscience.

In a TEDTalks video urges us to take a new look at the brain — to see it not as a fast processor, but as a memory system that stores and plays back experiences to help us predict, intelligently, what will happen next.

  • Why we don’t have a good brain theory.
  • What it’s important.
  • What we can do about it.

Hawkins argues that what’s lacking is a theoretical framework. We have lots of data, but little in the way of theory. This is where Hawkins seeks to contribute, most famously with his hierarchical temporal model of memory. Memoirs of a Postgrad has a far better summary of the theory here. The theory is that the brain is basically a big memory system that uses past experiences to make predictions about the future – this is Hawkins’ definition of intelligence. So in this view, we literally learn from experience.

Coaxing computers to perform basic acts of perception and robotics, let alone high-level thought, has been difficult. No existing computer can recognize pictures, understand language, or navigate through a cluttered room with anywhere near the facility of a child. Hawkins and his colleagues have developed a model of how the neocortex performs these and other tasks.

The theory, call Hierarchical Temporal Memory, explains how the hierarchical structure of the neocortex builds a model of its world and uses this model for inference and prediction. To turn this theory into a useful technology, Hawkins has created a company called Numenta. Hawkins describes the theory, its biological basis, and a software platform created by Numenta that allows anyone to apply this theory to a variety of problems. Part of this theory was described in a book he co-authored in 2004 called “On Intelligence”.

22 minutes

Being yourself: The stillness of pure consciousness

The following is a partial excerpt of an interview with Eckhart Tolle from a book called Dialogues With Emerging Spiritual Teachers by John W. Parker.

I also started reading on Buddhism and immediately understood the essence of Buddhism. I saw the simplicity of the original teaching of the Buddha compared to the complexity of subsequent additions, philosophy, all the baggage that over the centuries accumulated around Buddhism, and saw the essence of the original teaching. I have a great love for the teaching of the Buddha, a teaching of such power and sublime simplicity. I even spent time in Buddhist monasteries. During my time in England there were already several Buddhist monasteries.

I met and listened to some teachers that helped me understand my own state. In the beginning there was a Buddhist monk, Achan Sumedo, abbot of two or three monasteries in England. He’s a Western-born Buddhist. — Eckhart Tolle

Constructive approaches to conquering fear of rejection

On one hand, all humans strongly want to be considered by others to be capable, competent and lovable. On the other hand, the greatest fears we humans have are the fear of abandonment (rejection) and fear of the unknown. Continue reading “Constructive approaches to conquering fear of rejection”

Wisdom of the Buddha

The Buddha, Siddhāttha Gotama civilized half the world with his teaching. These are a collection of his wise quotes. It doesn’t matter which faith you follow or if don’t particularly consider yourself a religious person, you will find truth in his words. The video is after the jump.
Continue reading “Wisdom of the Buddha”

Healing your broken heart

Everyone who has been through a relationship breakup thinks it was the worst one in history. The truth is that life goes on and if you focus on how badly you’ve been hurt, you will continue to hurt. To recover from a breakup must grieve your loss and learn from it;  stop feeling sorry for yourself and be determined and proactive in helping yourself get over it.  Continue reading “Healing your broken heart”

Detecting Egocentricity

This blog is focused on personal growth, personal development,  self improvement, and relationships. I believe very strongly that we are our own healers so I seek out information focused on self help.

Our human historical records make it clear that people who attempt to rationalize and/or justify egocentric thoughts and behaviors as being requirements of their religion and/or political ideology are the most dangerous people on the planet. Continue reading “Detecting Egocentricity”

The Beauty Pageant Disease

sadbeautyby Guest Author CDF of Whirled Peas

Beauty contests have been getting more attention than usual lately. Usually, these rather pathetic events are ignored, left as an enthusiasm for hopelessly insecure young women, who having found no other quality with which to make their mark on the world, hit upon the “Evil Queen from Snow White” formula of finding self worth. Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the most neurotic-obsessive of them all?

Health and beauty

Don’t forget, these young women essentially torture themselves. They subject themselves to diets which border on starvation; they irradiate themselves either with natural sunlight or worse, tanning beds. In many cases, they have plastic surgeons who make sure their breasts are at optimal perkiness, their cheekbones are sharp enough to use as a hole punch, and their lips are sufficiently loaded with collagen that they appear to have a permanent pucker in place. It is rather a pity in those instances that the surgeons and cosmeticians don’t go up with the pageant winner to accept the award: doesn’t the pit crew deserve an accolade too?

Politics and beauty

We have Miss California to thank for drawing our attention to this swamp of shallowness and trauma. If she had merely said that she was in favour of gay marriage, or if the blogger Perez Hilton had merely dismissed her as an airhead, we would likely have allowed the latest Miss USA contest to pass unnoticed. But thanks to the brouhahaha between these two we have been reminded of this contest’s presence, and the deep seam of psychological issues not just with the contestants, but lurking within the public that allows this competition to continue.

Only in America would the notion of a nearly-naked fundamentalist Christian beauty queen tossing her processed hair and parading brand new pageant-bought plastic breasts across a Las Vegas stage in front of millions of television viewers with all the modesty of a blue ribbon heifer at a county livestock fair (the same fundamentalist Christian beauty queen who would later tell a television reporter that she heard God whispering in her ear as she answered a celebrity-worshipping Internet gossip columnist’s question about gay marriage) be treated as anything other than an occasion for high comedy and mirth.  — Michael Rowe

Fantasy made flesh

We live in an era where some must have every fantasy made flesh. Some want to live in a mansion; up until recently, it was possible even for individuals to buy one, even if they hadn’t sufficient means to pay back the mortgage. Some want to make a lot of money; again, until recently, it was possible to sign up with online stock brokers and try one’s hand at making paper profits. Some want to kill and hurt people; the more sane take up their time with graphic three-dimensional video games, the deeply troubled go on the rampage in schools. There is an urge, hidden but always screaming that demands we become wealthy, powerful, attractive, full of sexual magnetism, and never, ever be satisfied.

In this schema, the beauty contestants are victims of a need for fantasy to be made flesh. They desire attractiveness above all. But what supports that image of attractiveness is the willingness of the public to have them perform as their masturbatory props.

Masturbatory props

In order to explain this phenomena further, it’s worth remembering that all sexual activity has a fantasy element involved. The act is never the act in and of itself; if that were the case, it would become quite absurd in some respects, from the motions involved to the awkwardness of the creaking bedsprings. But it is not just that: there are fantastic qualities associated with it, connected to the imagination: e.g., I look into her eyes and see her soul. Or, this is such a naughty thing we’re doing. Or, this reminds me of this other time which was really good, in which case fantasy is piled on fantasy. We need this component, it is healthy: it is an abstract element which allows a space for thought in a world which if experienced solely through the nerve endings, would never allow thinking in the first place. However, at the same time this element can be warped, if our desires are exclusively trained on trying to turn fantasy into reality.

Sexuality and sensuality

We are constantly bombarded with stimuli which tells us to do precisely that. Men’s magazines, airbrushed, soft focus, or even digitally enhanced, try to portray an image of woman in a certain way: breasts have a certain set of parameters to which they must adhere, face, eyes, hair, all have to fall within a series of measurements. The ideal woman is young, sexually promiscuous, and yet vulnerable to advances of even the most homely man. But perhaps the fantasy space is disturbed by the impossibility of these qualities existing in a single combination, so it looks for substitutions: the young and vulnerable aspects make their appearance in the beauty pageants. The sexual element in this instance is more understated, but inherent. The women in this scenario are not women in and of themselves, they exist solely to fulfill an imaginative outlet, and reinforce the negative psychological feedback loop which suggests that fantasy is there to be realised.

Conscious living

Fantasy can be harmless, and as previously stated, necessary. However, there is a point where it becomes too much to remain unaddressed: that point is where it inflicts harm on the well-being of others. Considering the lives that are blighted by the necessities of this perverse phenomenon, that juncture has already been reached. To address this, the first step is to accept that this outlet is not “normal”. For those who say otherwise, it is considered “normal” in some societies that clitorectomies are performed, yet we in the West refuse to accept this. Normal is thus a relative value: therefore it is subject to revision, and when provable harm is entailed, morality demands it must be changed. Beauty contests should be exposed for the tragic mess that they are, not celebrated in any way; let it be ridiculed, damned, castigated, derided. Perhaps hope also lies in phenomena like Susan Boyle, which is challenging the underlying societal opinion about physical beauty being linked to talent or virtue: they are not. We need more of this in order to challenge and break our own assumptions. We also need more humility, whereby we realise that we are not all going to be pop stars, millionaires or Hollywood actors. We have value as individuals; trying to project that value against the ever variable grid of fame is neither worthy or worthwhile. Posterity should be taught to let it go.

Related post:
Sexualizing young girls

Men and depression

The depressive brain

The depressive brain is structurally different compared to a non-depresssive brain. And it seems to run in the family. This is reported by scientists at Columbia University. Those with a family history of depression have brains which are, on average, 28% thinner in the area of the right cortex compared to those with out familial history of depression.

Continue reading “Men and depression”

What excess in your life will you prune in 2009?

pruning
pruning

Everyone’s answer will be different; no one is exactly the same. Our habits generate or drain our power and energy. Removing a dead leaf from a plant or a dead branch from a tree or suckers that grow shoots from the base of a plant and rob the parent plant of strength gives it life and vitality. Likewise, pruning excesses from our lives creates space allowing us to progress and prosper. Source. Continue reading “What excess in your life will you prune in 2009?”

Compass Rose

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by guest author Teresa Silverthorn

I would like to take this opportunity to welcome you, hopefully, to a helpful perspective on nurturing your own seeds of mysticism. In my opinion, if approached with an open mind, it is possible to make a positive change in the direction of your life. In that regard, it can be considered dusting off your compass and using yourself, and your experiences as your new point of origin.

And, begin again. Continue reading “Compass Rose”

The weakness of power

by guest blogger buddhaofhollywood

broken cigarette
broken cigarette

One little trivia fact about the life behind the iron curtain – when the Berlin wall was still up – Everybody smoked.

I had my first cigarette when I was about 5 or 6 I can’t even remember and by the time I was in high school I was a full fledge smoker. In college I was up to two packs a day and we did not smoke ultra lights, we smoke the most vile, stinky, cheap but potent crap. Continue reading “The weakness of power”

Five Steps to Success

by guest blogger buddhaofhollywood

success

There is this old story about a very pious, religious man that every day of his life prayed to God to win the lottery – which never happened.

Finally the man dies and goes to heaven. There he meets God and asks him “God have I ever done anything to upset you?” “No – said God – You have lived the life of a saint, I’m very pleased with you.” “So how come – said the man – you never granted my wish of wining the lottery?” And God replied “Because you never bought a freakin’ ticket.”

So you see, success is not an accident. Even winning the lottery requires some action.

Now that the New Year is around the corner, and New Year resolutions are on order, I thought I’ll share with you my 5 steps to success recipe. It goes like this:

(1)      Stop dreaming

It is hilarious how many self help gurus proclaim the virtues of wishful thinking:

“If you want it badly or hard enough you will get it.”

Stop dreaming! You will not get it.

How many people do you know that want to be broke and miserable and sick? None. We all want to be happy, wealthy and healthy, but the ones that will get there are the people that have stopped dreaming and turned their dreams into goals.

(2)      Set your goals

The difference between dreams and goals is specificity.

Goals are well defined targets of your life. They are part of a global strategy that should encompass all aspects of your life material and spiritual.

You should look at money, career, business, relationships, health, spirituality, love, family and all the other aspects of your life as a whole interacting and interdependent of each other. Here is some help in setting your goals: Are you enlightened ?

(3)      Visualize your success

“Wait a minute I thought you said – stop dreaming!”

Visualization should be a mental rehearsal of the steps you will have to take on the journey to success. Visualization is a disciplined technique not day dreaming.

There are two parts  to visualization:

The constructive visualization – Where you start from where you are today and see yourself taking the necessary steps towards accomplishing your goal.

The deconstructive visualization – Where you see yourself at the point of success and you are tracing your steps backwards towards where you are today.

This less known and used technique is very useful when you get stuck and can’t figure your way over an obstacle. You pick a point past the obstacle and work your way backwards. It is also very good in checking out for omitted steps and flaws.

If your visualization runs smooth both ways you are ready for:

(4)      Planning

I know, I know. “Isn’t planning the same thing?” No it is not.

Planning is done on a piece of paper or a computer. Planning is taking your visualization to the next level.

In planning everything becomes concrete. If you are planning to contact an editor, or a sales person or the president of a company, in planning you should put the name of the person, all the contact information as well as the time when you will contact the person.

Your plan should have a time table with dead lines and concrete measurable results of your progress.

Planning is the essential step between visualization and actualization. Without a plan you’re your goals and your actions are disconnected and you most likely are facing frustration and failure or at least make things much harder and complicate.

(5)      Do it!

Everything must end in action. Without action nothing will be accomplished.

Here is my personal recipe for getting things done: How to accomplish more

Footnotes:

Handling rejection

There is no rejection! It is all in your mind.

Unless the person you are dealing with is your friend or a relative, there is no rejection.

When I started blogging nobody would come to my blog and read my posts. I felt pretty bad and I had to remind myself that there was no rejection. The rejection was only in my head. The people did not read my blog because they did not like me. Simply nobody knew I was writing a blog.

When someone tells you “No” or ignores you, it is not because they have something against you. It is just the way things are, it is part of the business and it doesn’t have anything to do with you.

So don’t make it personal. It is up to you.

Handling failure

You know the saying “Behind every successful man there is a woman”?

Well behind every failure there is a good excuse.

There is a story about Edison working on the bulb invention. He tried about 500 different materials for the filament but none worked. A journalist visiting him asked: “Don’t you think after 500 failures you should give up?” Edison replied: “I didn’t fail 500 times. I eliminated 500 bad choices and now I’m 500 steps close to success.”

The problem with intelligent, smart, educated people is that they are very good at finding the best excuses. Some time the dumb people succeed simply because they don’t see any reason for failure.

There is no failure unless you accept your excuse.

Go back to step 1!

Open your mind

Benny Greenberg at Ya-ttitude wrote a post called Open those Flood Gates and as I wrote my comment there I could feel a blog post coming on.

A closed mind is simply a sign of a static personality.  It allows for all progress to simply pass you by!  And as progress passes you by, so does opportunities and the ability for you to attain those goals and achievements you have set forth for yourself.  The only way you can achieve all of your dreams and goals is for you to maintain an open mind; grasping this concept is another key to your overall success.

buddha
buddha

Faith isn’t religion
A religion is a set of tenets and practices, often centered upon specific supernatural and moral claims about reality, the cosmos, and human nature, and often codified as prayer, ritual, or religious law. And, at the top of the pyramid of the greatest barriers to making open minded decisions is the religious beliefs that we cling to.

Provided that you understand that I don’t have religion and I don’t mean religion, when I say “faith” then I do have faith. I have a great deal of faith in myself,  in my own ability to make good decisions, and in the ability of my fellow beings to do likewise, and that’s all the faith I need.

Core beliefs
It’s a quirk of human nature that we maintain our beliefs by selectively exposing ourselves to information that we already know is likely to support those beliefs. Yet, when we remove the emotional elements and take the time to gather information on the opposite side of any issue we are more likely to come to different conclusions. This is why it’s not surprising that gut responses based on deeply held core beliefs are not always the most accurate.

Assess the emotional urgency factor
When faced with any decision I assess the “emotional urgency” factor first. I frequently find that urgency is artificially created by others, because they are relying on a specific outcome and desiring the instant gratification, if and when it’s confirmed. So whenever possible, I choose not to make hurried decisions prompted by artificial urgency to please or satisfy others.

Another dynamic that I have become aware of is the “important decision” categorization. I’m more likely to conduct a broad based and open minded investigation of all possibilities if I assign high importance to the decision in terms of outcomes and impacts.

In cases of “important decision making” I seek out more information, I consult others and listen to their points of view, and I make lists of pros and cons, as well as possible outcomes and impacts. Whenever possible I choose to assign high importance to issues where the outcome of the decision made is likely to have a major impact on finances and /or relationships.

A mind opening process

(1)   I benefit from trying to see the situation as and an inquisitive child might view it. I try to see everything as if it’s the first time, and try to think about it in new ways.

(2)   I  benefit from writing down my goals and doing some planning for each of them.

(3)   I sometimes focus too much on details and not enough on the big picture.  By reviewing my dreams I can monitor where I’m at and notice opportunities that I have overlooked.

(4)   I’m aware that every decision I make is based on my core beliefs. To open my mind I review my core beliefs and quiz myself about each one by asking myself  why I believe it. Next I imagine that I don’t exactly believe it any more, but instead believe something marginally different, and then marginally different again.

(6)   My  core beliefs are unique to me and my friend’s core beliefs are unique to them.  An open mind is comfortable with  the differences, and also capable of using a variety of lenses to view any issue from many angles.   So I ask close friends to share their core beliefs with me and how they acquired them.

(7)    I need to make sure I take enough time to enjoy the decision making journey so I don’t reach my destination only to find that the outcome  I was hoping for has eluded me yet again. That means  I need to be sure my  dreams and goals for various parts of my life are recorded in mission and vision statements, and I need to review them regularly to verify that they are in alignment.

Dedications

This post is dedicated to the following bloggers:

buddhaofhollwood
everyoneneedstherapy
geoffreysplace.net
guidetolifeblog
lifeasiknowit22.blogspot.com
melindaville.com
pentads
Pricilla Palmer Personal Development Blog List
the happiness project
thinksimplenow.com
writetosurvive
zen habits

Self-Care for Mild to Moderate PMS

Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) or Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD)  A large number of women (30 to 70 per cent) experience premenstrual symptoms even though they do not have Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder or what most people refer to as PMS (Pre-Menstrual Syndrome). Approximately four to nine per cent experience Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. Even though premenstrual women may be quite uncomfortable with headaches, cramps, tender breasts, or other symptoms, this is not PMDD. PMDD is only diagnosed when there are cyclical mood and behavioural changes which affect relationships and day-to-day functioning. Continue reading “Self-Care for Mild to Moderate PMS”

Yoga Exercises for Improving Eyesight

green eyeI have been a yoga practitioner for over thirty years and yoga practitioners attach special importance to eye exercises, for two reasons. Many eye problems in later life are due to a loss of tone in the eye muscles. These muscles become rigid, and this loss of elasticity reduces the ability of the lens of the eye to focus at different distances. It also causes the eyesight to become weaker. These exercises tone the eye muscles up and keep them elastic. Continue reading “Yoga Exercises for Improving Eyesight”

Depression Busters: Daily Affirmations

love letterAlthough my state of mind has improved greatly I admit that I have been feeling a bit of slippage. Depression is an immobilizing disease and I know that so, to reverse the direction of the downward slide, I’m taking some action that was inspired by a post to the Blog Cataolg forum entitled Only positive thoughts! Continue reading “Depression Busters: Daily Affirmations”

Understanding The Law of Transition

Due to the suicide of a close friend, the disappearance of another, my own preoccupation with escapist thoughts and my response to posts written by a fellow blogger on the topic of suicide, I’ve been thinking a lot about death this winter.

womaninmoonlightposter.jpgIMHO there are no coincidences. My friend Richard’s most recent post is about being called upon to assist in the transitions of two people leaving the earth plane and entering the spiritual plane saying, in part: “… I am simply a conduit for the spirits.”

In reference to my own time of grief, Richard shared these words of wisdom directed to me in a comment on his blog:

“Loss and death are as you know, part of life, but that thought does not make the loss of a close friend or a loved one any less sorrowful. We need to take the time to grieve and honor those feelings and then we let them go.”

I have been contemplating what Ulla Jacobs has to say about The Law of Transition as well. Ulla Jacobs, is a visionary. She has been a researcher for over 35 years and is the author of Hidden Laws: Ultimate Tools for Divine Co-Creation. When she discovered universal law, Ulla realized that she had found the key to self-empowerment.

Awareness and understanding of nature’s laws allowed for pro-active involvement in day-to-day interactions with others. This knowledge provided a basis for the need to dispel negativity and fear, in order to keep from drawing more of the same. Ulla believes that these are the principles Jesus came to teach over 2000 years ago.

She writes: The Law of Transition governs a process that many seem to fear – death. This law provides for a smooth exit, a shift from one reality to another. Guides and guardians are there to provide support and love, making this a comfortable transition from physicality to the spirit world. No one “dies” alone!

Once we arrive at the point of transition, we get to leave all acquired wealth and materialistic gain behind. We take along the knowledge and wisdom gained from experiences and dramas we encountered. We take along the feelings of accomplishment for things done well and good deeds delivered, along with the feelings of love that bind us strongly to family and friends. -> Read full article

I’m wondering if my readers would like to share their thoughts on this subject with me.

Some Self Development Tips

meditationpath

As long as you are still alive, you are capable of changing and growing. You can do anything you want to do, be anything you want to be. Listen to some positive thoughts on how to continue your self development and then apply them in your own life.

  • Accept personal responsibility for your own growth; no one can do it for you. What you do today will determine your readiness for tomorrow.
  • Take time every day to do something for yourself.
  • Take classes to stay current in your field of expertise and to expand into others. The world is changing rapidly and you can learn to manage change to avoid obsolescence. The way Will Rogers put this was that “Even if you are on the right track, if you just sit there you will get run over.”
  • Watch videos and read books on personal and professional growth topics.
  • Never look back to the past-you only can control your actions in this instant, so what should you be doing right now?
  • Learn from “other people’s experience” rather then having to try everything for yourself. It shortens the time needed to learn. — Author Unknown

Defining success

Ralph Waldo Emerson’s comments on success were: “To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived; this is to have succeeded.”

I’ve been visiting sites included on Priscilla Palmer’s Personal Development List and locating some great resources. K. Stone of Life Learning Today has some solid advice for setting and achieving your goals:

“There is a way to reach your goals faster and easier than your current method. In fact it’s so powerful and surefire that many people avoid it. Why? Because it forces you to do the work that will make your dreams come true. So what’s the secret?” -> Read more .

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In short I believe that I’m a “success” when I’m setting realistic goals and achieving them. My definition success includes achieving goals in the workplace, however, I believe “success” is applicable to finishing whatever I planned to do in any aspect of my life.

I will not feel that I have lived a “successful life,” if the amount of time and attention I invest on a single aspect of my life exceeds the investment I make into the other aspects. Workaholic: Who Me?

What are your thoughts on “success”?

How do you define it?

How will do you determine whether you are leading a successful life, or not?

Essential oils for treating fatigue

What is Adrenal Fatigue?

The adrenal glands produce important hormones such as cortisol, an energy releaser, and pregnenolone, the precursor from which almost all your body’s steroid hormones are made, including DHEA, progesterone, testosterone, and estrogens. Continue reading “Essential oils for treating fatigue”

A Look in the Mirror

Take a look in the mirror because the most common reasons relationships go wrong are centered in these self defeating habits.

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  • Jumping to conclusions: making assumptions about a person or situation, with little or no evidence to back it up.
  • Personalizing: assuming blame for problems or situations for which you are not primarily responsible.
  • Externalizing: erroneously blaming others for situations for which they are not primarily responsible.
  • Mind-reading: assuming you know what others are thinking without checking with them and/or, expecting others to know what you are thinking without telling them.
  • Emotional reasoning: making false conclusions about an experience based on how you feel rather than on the facts.
  • Overgeneralizing: making sweeping judgments about someone or something based on only one or two experiences.
  • Magnifying/minimizing: overemphasizing certain aspects of a situation and minimizing the importance of other aspects.
  • Catastrophizing: assuming something bad is going to happen, or exaggerating how bad a situation will be.

Ten Rules for Relationships — author unknown

  1. Keep your tongue under control and watch your body language.
  2. Make few promises but keep them all.
  3. Learn to praise and criticize constructively.
  4. Be cheerful. Do not let worries, pains and disappointments wipe off your smile.
  5. Be present with an open mind. Discuss, do not argue.
  6. Let your merits speak for themselves and, do not talk about others’ demerits unless necessary.
  7. Pay no attention to ill-natured remarks made about you.
  8. Treat everybody with respect and never laugh at the expense of others.
  9. Do not be anxious about getting what is due to you. Keep a good disposition, make an effort and reward will come to you.
  10. Treat others, the way you want others to treat you.

Related posts

For some direction is more important than goals

The Right Brain vs Left Brain test … do you see the dancer turning clockwise or anti-clockwise? If clockwise, then you use more of the right side of the brain and vice versa. Most of us would see the dancer turning anti-clockwise though you can try to focus and change the direction; see if you can do it.

Right Brain – The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain.

Random – Intuitive – Holistic – Synthesizing – Subjective – Looks at wholes

Right Brain Functions – uses feeling -“big picture” oriented – imagination rules – symbols and images – present and future – philosophy & religion – can “get it” (i.e. meaning) believes – appreciates – spatial perception – knows object function – fantasy based – presents possibilities – impetuous – risk taking

The right brain is the “artists” brain. It handles thing in more random and subjective manor. It is generally responsible for “hunches” and other intuitive processes. It looks more at wholes, and is best at pattern-recognition, making it the “map reading” part of the brain.

Right brain dominant individuals are more visual and intuitive. They are better at summarizing multiple points, picking up on what’s not said, visualizing things, and making things up. They can lack attention to detail, directness, organization, and the ability to explain their ideas verbally, leaving them unable to communicate effectively.

Left Brain – The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain.

Logical – Sequential – Rational – Analytical – Objective

Left Brain Functions – uses logic – detail oriented – facts rule- words and language – present and past – math and science – can comprehend – knowing – acknowledges – order/pattern perception – knows object name – reality based – forms strategies – practical – safe

The left brain processes thing more sequentially and systematically than the right. It is more rational, or at least more logical, analytical and objective. It tends to look at the parts more than the whole. Finally, it was learned early on in studies of the hemisphere that the left side handles speech for most of us.

Left brain dominant individuals are more orderly, literal, articulate, and to the point. They are good at understanding directions and anything that is explicit and logical. They can have trouble comprehending emotions and abstract concepts, they can feel lost when things are not clear, doubting anything that is not stated and proven.If you are interested in taking a longer test (30 multiple choice questions) then you will find the link to one I took below my test results.

Overall you appear to be Right Brain Dominant

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain (56%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain.
Left Brain (48%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain

The terms “left brain” and “right brain” refer to the left and right hemispheres of your brain. They each tend to process things differently. And these generalities are true for over 90% of right-handed people, and only 70% of left-handed people. In the cases where they aren’t true, the division of labor and processing styles is usually still there, but reversed, with the right side handling the things that most people’s left side handles, and vice-versa.

Darwinian Theory
According to Darwinian theory, optimal evolution takes place with random variation and selective retention. The evolution savvy individual will try many different approaches when faced with a problem and select the best of those approaches. Many historical intellectuals have confessed their advantage was simply considering/exploring/trying more approaches than others.

The left brain dominant type suffers from limited approaches, narrow-mindedness. The right brain dominant type suffers from too many approaches, scatterbrained. To maintain balanced hemispheres, you need to exercise both variability and selection.

Dr Humbert is a Success Strategist, author and popular speaker. This is what he has to say:

“Motivational speakers emphasize goals for good reason. Many things in life are linear and we need a great “map” or strategy to achieve them, step by step, over time. But when either the project or your personality prefers to set a direction and use your creativity, intuition and spontaneity to get the job done, trust that. The world needs us “artists” as much as it needs engineers.

At our World Class Life Conference this year, I tested the idea and the response was fantastic, so here goes: For some of us, direction is more important than goals.

For some of us, goals feel “heavy.” They’re too concrete and they seem limiting. They are too focused, too narrow, too linear.

My theory is that for people who tend to be more “left brain” (to use that clumsy analogy), goals are wonderful. People who tend to be engineers, who prefer logic and clear instructions and who enjoy following a good recipe, goals work well. As one client said, “It’s just logical!”

However, for those who are more “right brain,” goals are too logical. For those who prefer intuition and spontaneity, for people who find the music more important than the words, goals don’t always work. Sometimes we want to “wander around and enjoy the process.” That can drive goal-seekers (and our spouses!) bonkers, but it can be great fun!

So, here are two key points:

  1. In any given situation, use the right tool for the job. When it’s important to arrive at a specific destination, set goals. But when the “goal” is to enjoy the journey, set a direction, stay the course, and see what happens. Sometimes it is important to actually hit a target (“increase sales by 10% or we’ll have to let you go”) and in those cases you need a clear goal, a specific plan, and daily action steps. But in other cases (“Let’s drive to the mountains and relax for the weekend.”) you just want a direction and some creativity.
  2. In life, honor your personal style. Some people love setting goals, others don’t. If you’re a goal-setter, good for you! But if, like me, goal-setting is not your natural preference, consider this your official permission to stop using a tool that doesn’t suit you. Relax! Focus on your values, your desires and dreams, and trust your instincts. If you’re smart (and you are), if you work hard and keep moving, most of the time you’ll “get there” just fine.”

Related blog posts:
23 September 2007: Brain Center For ‘Sound Space’ Identified
23 September 2007: Your Brain’s Pattern
3 September 2007: Do You Know Your Mind?
21 July 2007: Is The Brain on Your Mind?

Crossroads: Happiness Questions

When you feel you are at a crossroads in your life the most difficult thing to do is be honest with yourself.

If you are are standing at a crossroads in your life then you realize deep inside that if you choose this new direction, your life will never be the same again. While the old familiar way is more comfortable, something deep inside you tugs at you to step forward into the unknown. Sometimes these major crossroads come in the form of a major life-style change, or sometimes they come in the form of an important person who mysteriously enters your life at a pivotal time.

Asking yourself some key questions can lead you to some amazing discoveries, and possibly motivate you to do what it takes to create the life you envision for yourself.Write down answers to the following questions:

  1. What makes you happy at work?
  2. What makes you happy at home?
  3. What makes you happy with your friends and family?
  4. What makes you happy when you’re by yourself?
  5. What do you love to do?
  6. What would you do with your life today if you weren’t afraid of failure?
  7. What’s not working in your life?
  8. What are you currently doing that prevents you from experiencing joy?
  9. What’s working in your life?
  10. Which relationships are working in your life?
  11. Who’s not working in your life?
  12. Who in your life is subtracting value from and adding misery to it?
  13. Do you believe you should you let them go from your life?
  14. What’s the single most important thing you’ve learned about yourself as a result of answering these questions?

You’ll find that by putting your answers down on paper, they’ll become clear more quickly and the actions you need to take more obvious and easier to initiate. The next steps to take are Goal Setting and following through.


Self Confidence Boosters

Emmanuel Segui says: Everyone has had a day where the world just did not seem to be on their side and that black cloud was persistently over their head. If you are simply having one of those days where your self confidence seems to be dragging you down, instead of wallowing in self pity, take steps to boost yourself up!

Maybe you just woke up not quite feeling your best or made a significant mistake in front of someone important. Perhaps you did not do as well as you thought on your test or did not excel at your interview. Whatever the reason, learning a few tricks to quickly boost your self confidence will have a bounce in your step and your head in the clouds in no time! Continue reading “Self Confidence Boosters”

Look Inside and Grow

blueeggs.JPGWhen considering personal development desiring to place more on a list of personal skills does not necessarily make you a better person. To become a better person you need to improve your inner self – you need to look inside and grow to reach your full potential.

Personal development helps one to become a better person and the definition of growth is one of the first things to consider.

The theory of self-actualization states that in order for human beings to grow to a higher level, they have to get their basic needs satisfied. The basic needs of a human being are: physiological, safety, acceptance or belonging, self-esteem and self-actualization.

With a satisfied hunger, security, acceptance and power, you want to develop stronger ties with others. You start giving more importance to other peoples’ needs and wants. You believe in being committed to a greater cause than yourself.

The reality is that you can be whoever or whatever you choose to be, if only more of us would believe, visualize and act upon this then we would not have the level of apathy we see in our society. Source

Related posts in the Self Help series can be found at this link.

Journaling

Doreene Clements created The 5 Year Journal to make journaling easy and effective.

Keeping a journal has many advantages and benefits. Whether you write a few lines or pages, through journaling, you can record and track a lot of information that can be easily retained for future reference. You can actually see what you were thinking because your thoughts and experiences are in a journal. When you commit to writing them down, you have put your thoughts and experiences into a solid form. Below are some examples of the benefits of keeping a journal.

Continue reading “Journaling”