A Difficult Week in Review

smallLast week was typical week for me.  I was busy and productive and though I had to deal with several difficult people I was happy.

I have resolved not to shun the so-called difficult people in my life for two self serving reasons. They teach me important lessons about myself, and learning from them provides  opportunities for my growth.

I acknowledged that every person in my life is my mirror. By remaining aware that each one was reflecting aspects of my own consciousness back to me,  I was able not to take their negativity personally. Continue reading “A Difficult Week in Review”

Quiet and society’s extroversion bias

susancainI just finished reading a powerful book, Quiet by Susan Cain.This book spoke to me because I am an introvert and I’ve always been under pressure to become someone I’m not. The book was loaned to me by an introvert and is now in the hands of yet another introvert.  The three of us have been discussing the how this insightful book has made us feel about being exactly who we are.  Continue reading “Quiet and society’s extroversion bias”

Seeking Happiness: Focus on Relationships

The Oxford Happiness Inventory and a battery of personality measures were completed by 171 subjects. The results showed predicted positive correlations for happiness with satisfaction with life, self-esteem, and sociability and negative correlations of happiness with embarrass-ability, loneliness, shyness, and social anxiety. Four predictors (satisfaction with life, shyness, loneliness, and sociability) accounted for 58% of the variance in happiness scores. Continue reading “Seeking Happiness: Focus on Relationships”

Timethief: An Interview with Myself

Dragos Roua blogged saying:

Now, here’s the deal. If you blog, feel free to copy and paste this article on your blog (with a link back to the original, of course) and answer each question at a time. Feel free to skip the ones you don’t like or don’t want to answer. But do keep the link back so I can discover you. I told you, you’re important.

Continue reading “Timethief: An Interview with Myself”

No tolerance for trolls

Although it’s true that we all ought to be prepared to expect some negative feedback to any post we make to an online community forum, it’s also true that we ought to be able to cry “foul” and have something done about it when we experience an internet troll. Continue reading “No tolerance for trolls”

INFJ: the most rare of all the types Part 2

The Myers-Briggs personality typology system was developed in the 1930s by Katharine Briggs and her daughter, Isabel Briggs Myers, as a way to place people in work environments naturally suited to their talents and aptitudes during World War II. It is based on the theory of temperaments by Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung. Jung believed differences in our personalities are due to our “preferences”. Myers-Briggs makes Jung’s theories practical and applicable in daily life.

The Myers Briggs model of personality has many applications, from team building to navigating midlife.The guidelines on personality types are best used as a means for understanding, appreciating, and interacting with various preferences, not as mere labels to place on others to justify your position or behavior.

In the workplace, the INFJ usually shows up in areas where they can be creative and somewhat independent. They have a natural affinity for art, and many excel in the sciences, where they make use of their intuition. INFJs can also be found in service-oriented professions. They are not good at dealing with minutia or very detailed tasks. The INFJ will either avoid such things, or else go to the other extreme and become enveloped in the details to the extent that they can no longer see the big picture. An INFJ who has gone the route of becoming meticulous about details may be highly critical of other individuals who are not. Source

In the workplace knowledge of personality provided by the Myers Brigg Test can give you the clues you need to increase both your effectiveness, job satisfaction and explain your natural positive motivation in terms of workplace needs. You can use your knowledge of your type to better handle conflict, improve your sales force, reduce absenteeism, improve work team dynamics, build leadership ability and many other uses that positively impact your bottom line.

For those who want to understand Isabel Briggs Myers‘ model in more depth, this article from the teamtechnology.co.uk website includes a description of functions, the dynamic relationship between them, and the meaning of the four letter code in dynamic terms.

The temperament theory of David Keirsey (made popular in the book Please Understand Me) uses the same four letter code as Isabel Briggs Myers’ system. However, although they used the same letters, they meant different things, and this article explains the differences.

More Resources

Take the test here

INFJ: The most rare of all the types

A fellow Blog Catalog member came up with an idea on the Discussion forum that culminated in many members taking the test and sharing their test results.

This is a list that I have compiled of various blogs that are categorized by the personality of the blogger using the Myers-Briggs typology test. Imagine, finding the blog of another person that shares a similar (or maybe even the same) personality type as you.

I started a Discussion thread on Blog Catalog because I was curious to see what the personality traits of bloggers are. I wanted to know if there is a dominant type of person who fills the pages of the blogosphere with anything from personal journals to information rich SEO blogs.

The Myers Briggs model of personality is based on four preferences (E or I, S or N, T or F and J or P). You combine the preferences to give your Myers Briggs personality type. Eg: having preferences for E and S and T and J gives a personality type of ESTJ. There are sixteen Myers Briggs personality types.

Myers Briggs Personality Type is based on 4 preferences

  1. Where, primarily, do you prefer to direct your energy?
  2. How do you prefer to process information?
  3. How do you prefer to make decisions?
  4. How do you prefer to organize your life?

The Myers-Briggs typology test link.

INFJ is my personality type. Only one percent of the population has an INFJ Personality Type, making it the most rare of all the types.

What's your email personality type?

emailme.JPG Serial Forwarder? An Ingenue? A Loud Talker?
Jenn over at Of Cabbages And Kings asks “Which E-mail Personality Type are YOU?”
She describes several of the most common personalities. Depending on the kind of day I’m having and how close I am to the recipient I may be a loud talker who uses some capitalized words from time to time but a serial forwarder – never! Click the title link above and go on over to Jenn’s to figure out which category you (or someone you know) fits into.


Claudette Rowley:

So many of us use common beliefs and actions to cover up accurate, positive views of ourselves. Consider the following behaviors. Do you:

  • Let other people assign value to you? Don’t. You’re the only person who can decide what you’re worth.
  • Try to control others’ perceptions of you, even though you know this is an impossible task? People will perceive you however they’re going to perceive you. Attempting to control their perceptions only leads to heartache and misery. Try not to worry about other people’s perceptions. Instead, act in a way that’s congruent with who you are and your sense of integrity — and that will shine through brightly.
  • Mostly notice what you do wrong? Stop! Start noticing what you do right. I challenge you to keep a running list of everything you do well for the next week. The length of this list may surprise you.

Read the full article: Accept Your Own Flawed Brilliance

Related posts:
Self-acceptance, not self-improvement
Look inside and grow

Are You Prejudiced?

You Are Not Prejudiced
Not only are you color blind, but you’re also ethnicity blind, gender blind, and sexual orientation blind.
You don’t judge someone until you truly know them. And even then, you’re probably reluctant to judge.
You try to treat everyone equally. Everyone has a fair chance with you.
Good job – there’s not a prejudiced bone in your body.

Are You Prejudiced?

Hands up! it's a meme

I’ve been tagged by MusEditions to take part in a meme.
1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it
– Omar Khayyam

This is perhaps the most famous verse of Fitzgerald’s Rubaiyat, and with good reason- it is hard to think of any way in which it could possibly be improved. That’s one of the things I most like about short poems, actually – at their best, they can attain a self-contained, gemlike perfection that longer pieces are hard-pressed to match, and the Rubaiyat definitely take their place among the best of the breed.

1fingerpointing.JPGClick the image for the YouTube – Dorothy Ashby – The Moving Finger from the album “The Rubaiyat of Dorothy Ashby”, Cadet label, 1970.

Dorothy was a pioneer in her day. She was compared to Alice Coltrane in her spiritual vibes, but in my opinion Dorothy’s song had more of a funk flavor and other artists were heavily inspired by her work. She has also been sampled by many Hip Hop artists.

I know the intent of these memes is to get to know others better and to include an every increasing number in one’s circle of friends but, I truly dislike them. Whenever I am ‘tagged’ I feel as if someone is pointing a finger at me and expecting me to respond right (write) now. I also feel that being tagged implies that I won’t be considered to be a “good” person if I do not wish to participate and tag others. This runs against my grain for three reasons. I’m not under any obligation to blog, my face-to-face friends would never make such demands of me and, those readers, who are close to me communicate with me by means other than blog posts and comment boxes. I will not point the finger at 5 more victims but, if any of you below would like to volunteer to participate then, please do go for it and enjoy. :-)

Your Life Path Number is 7

Your Life Path Number is 7

Your purpose in life is to find truth and meaning
. You are very spiritual, and you are interested in the mysteries of life.
You are quite analytical and a great thinker. You have many theories and insights.

A life of solitude is perfect for you. You need time to think and do things your way.
In love, you are quite charming. You attract many with your confidence and wit.
While you enjoy being alone, sometimes you take it to an extreme. You can become too isolated, shutting out loved ones and friends.

Express yourself a little bit more, and you’ll be surprised where it takes you!

What Is Your Life Path Number?



Who owns blog comments?

Don’t fence me in

When I was young I was a competitive, rugged individualist. I rejected the ‘parallel thinking’ and ‘lateral thinking’ approaches that I was naturally inclined towards using. My family members, school teachers and employers placed a strong reliance on competition, within a structured environment replete with rules and regulations.

I struggled to become a ‘linear’ thinker but I failed time and time again when my shadow self emerged. By the time I was thirty I recognized that I had been a square peg and that no amount of hammering will make my ‘self’ fit into a round hole. I became aware of who I really am and I set myself free.

I edit spelling errors, typos and awkward wording on posts and in forums. I frequently do so more than once because I do not always see clearly. I also edit what I have written when I think I have not expressed myself clearly. I do this because I believe that my words belong to me and, because I believe I have the right to edit or even delete them, until someone else posts into the same post or forum thread. After that occurs IMHO any changes ought to be made in follow-up comments made to the same thread so the conversation in the thread is not disjointed.

How many times have you heard this?

If you’re not prepared to let it stand, why did you post/publish/say it in the first place?

My response is that if I am to be burdened with the rule of remaining silent, until after I have internally processed information, and taken a position on any given issue then, you will never experience the best of me. This is why. Continue reading “Who owns blog comments?”

I'm a brainiac – are you?

You Are a Total Brainiac

You’re amazingly brilliant. Some would even say genius.
You’re curious, thoughtful, analytical, and confident.You take on difficult subjects because you want to… not because you have to. No field of knowledge is too complicated or intimidating for you.You’ve got the brains to do anything you want.

It’s possible you end up doing everything you want.

Are You a Brainiac?

What colour is your aura?

Well, here we are enjoying another weekend. I find it difficult to be serious on Saturdays. How about you? Here’s an amusing little quiz.

Your Aura is Red

You have a high level of emotion. This can mean passion, but it can also mean rage.
Usually, you don’t take these emotions out on others. You just use them as motivation – and it works!
The purpose of your life: embracing all the wonders of the life, lots of travels, and tons of adventuresFamous reds include: Madonna, Marilyn Monroe, Jennifer Lopez

Careers for you to try: Dancer, Boxer, Surgeon

What Color Is Your Aura?

What kind of a first impression do you make?

You Make a Great First Impression

You can handle almost any social situation with grace, even the tricky ones.
Strangers often find you charming and interesting. You are often remembered fondly.
Even if you’re not naturally outgoing, you can make conversation with anyone if you need to.
Whether you were born this way or had to work to get here, you are definitely charismatic.
You’re popular and well liked. People definitely look forward to being around you.
Your social connections bring you a full and rich life. You understand how important it is to make a lasting impression.
What Kind of First Impression Do You Make?

What Your Handwriting Says About You

What Your Handwriting Says About You
You are sometimes a very energetic person, but you are sometimes quite lethargic. You’re moody, prone to ups and downs, and you don’t have a lot of endurance.You are somewhat outgoing, but you’re not a natural extrovert. You think first before you act. You tend to be independent, rational, and logical.You are very detail oriented and meticulous. You are a careful thinker and a true intellectual.

You need a lot of space in your life, and it’s easy for you to feel stifled. You avoid commitment and responsibility whenever you can.

You are a free thinker. You are unique, open minded, and artistic. You don’t care what other people think.

You are a good communicator. You work hard to get your ideas across effectively.

Take the Quiz – What Does Your Handwriting Say About You?

“People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can’t do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: I’m such a klutz! But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.” – George


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Relationships and Messages

By Andrew Schneider
There are basically four levels of soul contact that we experience in our relationships – within ourselves, with each other, with the world, and with the Universe/God. These levels are psychologically all expressions of love. Whenever there is lack of unity or disconnection it is because one of the following soul invitations are not being responded to.

1. Pay attention to me. (I exist; I am here; see me; notice me.) Whenever any being meets another there is a demand for attention and this where we seek to communicate with each other. Communication requires attention. When others do not pay attention to us we feel cut off or separate. It is the essence or soul of things and beings which automatically and always sends out this message: ‘Pay attention to me!’

The soul is the magnetic energy of unity. It attracts other souls. Human beings often camouflage the message with distortions of who they are, and with behavior that alienates rather than attracts. We need to be perceptive enough to go beyond the distortions and masks to see and hear the essential invitation to connection, regardless of what the behavior is.This stage of contact is about valuing or validating one’s uniqueness. It demands attention to individuality. Our response could be:

  • From a human soul level we notice how someone is different and unique. We can also acknowledge their efforts, skills and talents.
  • From a spiritual soul level we notice how someone is beautiful – i.e., their uniqueness shows us their beauty. We can also acknowledge soul qualities or attributes they have.

2. Love me. At a deeper level beyond ‘pay attention to me,’ soul emits the message: ‘Love me!’ Once we get the other’s attention, this is the next message we can hear. Love is the essence of soul – the essence of our essence. When we do not love ourselves, then our behavior will reflect this invitation to connection – even though it may be inappropriate behavior to achieve that end.

On a feeling level we are searching for validation of our acceptability, goodness, worthiness, valuableness. When we don’t get the responses from others that we want we frequently go to the mental level and try to affirm or justify our ‘rightness.’ This is like saying, ‘If I can’t be acknowledged for my goodness, then at least I can be right.’

We might also reject others through blame or other judgments when we do not get the love from them that we want.These first two messages (‘pay attention to me’ and ‘love me’) come from personality, yearning toward that inner connection. Since it is not achieved inwardly, it seeks it outwardly through others – which is what personalities always do.

3. Be one with me. Beyond the invitation to ‘love me,’ when one is connected to the love within, in a conscious way, there is a love that sees the other as oneself and therefore seeks to unite with that. It is an invitation to share, to cooperate, to give and take, to mutual commitment, to honor and respect.The invitation to deeper connection is based on the need to share the love that one has acknowledged and activated within oneself, and the perception that this expression requires a unity with others. This unity often leads to service beyond the relationship itself.

4. We are one. We experience the ‘We are one’ when we enter the beauty of the other in our heart. This is the deepest level of soul emanation and soul consciousness. This state of unity is a profound affirmation of the oneness of life as we identify with it.

These four messages come from the soul and can be heard only by the heart of another. The heart will hear them if it is not preoccupied with its own survival or individual well-being. When we are not getting the responses we want to either of the first two requests, there is disruption to meaningful or fulfilling relationships. When this is the case a person needs to do the following:

a) Identify these messages being put out to others
b) Examine how they are being communicated
c) Look at the needs behind these messages and
d) Make the necessary adjustments without expecting others to change. This might require going to the third level of soul emanation and focusing on the love that one has to express.

The first two messages – ‘Pay attention to me’ and ‘Love me’ – are in the realm of personality functioning. When they are issues, conflicts arise and help is often sought to reduce the conflicts.

The third message – ‘Be one with me’ – is in the realm of spiritual soul expression and arises in matters of shared values, service, meaning and purpose.

The fourth message – ‘We are one’ – is in the realm of spiritual soul where there is no conflict and no question. All is well. This is the consciousness goal we all strive for. The soul journey moves us through these four levels of soul contact and expression.

1. Examine a particular problematic relationship you have in light of the four levels. (If there is a real ‘problem’ it is about level 1 and/or 2.)
2. Verbalize how the soul messages are being communicated to you or by you.
3. Identify the needs behind the messages.
4. Decide what responses you will make in order to improve the relationship.

Related blog posts:

Online Relationships: Internet Dating

Are Cyberspace Relationships Underrated?

Eight Suggestions for Improving Your Relationships

Relationships: Transformation and Commitment

Do You Know Your Mind?

This in-depth personality questionnaire will help you know yourself better. Covering the areas of Introversion-Extraversion, Emotional Stability, Determinism, Sexuality and Social & Political Attitudes, it will help you to see yourself – your mental, emotional and behavioral strengths and weaknesses – more objectively.

Peter Shepherd

The basis of the questionnaire is the long-established Eysenck Personality Questionnaire, used worldwide by the psychiatric profession. The idea is to test against cultural stereotypes, that is the “norm”, the way a statistical majority of people actually are in Western society. The “norm” is not necessarily an enlightened point of view, it simply represents what a typical person’s responses are likely to be. It doesn’t mean the normal responses are ‘right’ or ‘correct’.

High or low positions on a scale may represent neurosis if your answers represent compulsions, obsessions or inhibitions, and you may want to become more free in that area. But if they represent conscious choices in the way you play the game of life, then of course, that’s fine! A person relatively free from cultural conditioning in an area of life is unlikely to be the same as the ‘normal person’ who tends to be riddled with such conditioning.

Normally answers are not available to the person doing the test. I have made them accessible so one can be aware of the test’s shortcomings, and also hopefully in the process become more aware of one’s own fixed or limited beliefs, as well as fears and neuroses – as well as how one is likely to compare to the average guy down the street. …

The idea is to expose fixed and conditioned ways of thinking, feeling and behaving, not to indicate that any particular way is right or better than another. The questions can expose ways in which you are a stereotyped product of your culture, more liberated than the norm or more neurotic than the norm, or just different – the interpretation is up to you, the more honest the better!

Related posts:
All Loners Aren’t Social Misfits

Is the Brain on your Mind?


All Loners Aren’t Social Misfits

I’ve always been a loner and I disagree with the notion that reclusive people require therapy. Many believe that solitude is a human need, and to deny it is very unhealthy for both mind and body.Dr. Ester Buchholz, a psychoanalyst and clinical psychologist who died in 2004 at the age of 71, did quite a bit of research on solitude during her career, what she called “alone time.”

She thought that society undervalued solitude and alone time and overvalued attachment. Dr. Buchholz thought that periods of solitude were important if we were to tap our creative potential: Continue reading “All Loners Aren’t Social Misfits”