Constantly becoming me

purple lotusI love the summer months.  It’s been wonderful to relax on the beach and enjoy some summertime easy living with friends. All the water, warmth, wet hair, sand and the splashing and laughing has lifted my spirits.  I’m intending to extend the sunshine attitude I have now into the autumn.

Sea-change or seachange is a poetic or informal term meaning a gradual transformation in which the form is retained but the substance is replaced, as with petrification. … Source

Sea-change is also defined as acting upon a desire to pursue a lifestyle that focuses on improved quality of life.  This summer as I watch the ebb and flow of the tides, and witness the winds of change,  I’ve been noticing woman I am becoming as life lessons arise and I learn them.  Some life lessons I have been learning are:

  • I don’t have to live my life the way other people expect me to;
  • I must decide what I want from life before others decide for me;
  • I don’t have to like everyone and they don’t have to like me;
  • The one thing  I can control is my attitude;
  • There is more than one way to accomplish anything;
  • I can use skillful means to heal myself and help others at the same time.

You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. — Buddha

The one fact or insight that’s influenced me more than any other is religious direction can be changed because the human brain can change. When what an individual is taught and told to believe and what they experience are not internally consistent they may become spiritual seekers. I became a spiritual seeker,  found my path and changed my mind.  In fact I’m still training my mind now and I will be as long as I’m alive. I have been living a happy, moral, fulfilling life without the fear of punishment or the promise or reward in an afterlife from a divine or spiritual source for many years.

The experience that’s done the most to shape my outlook on life and the person I am constantly becoming is meditation. Learning how to meditate and becoming conscious is the most significant event in my life. When I enter the ego-less state of harmonious balance through meditation, I do not experience the existence of a separate unchanging individual self.

In meditation and in everyday awareness I know I am not the same me I was when I was born nor the self I was in years past. I have changed as I have experienced life’s ups and downs. I am no longer the child or young woman I once was. I know I am constantly becoming me. We all are.

We are shaped by our thoughts; what we think, we become.– Buddha

We are all constantly changing perhaps imperceptibly but changing nevertheless; changing based on circumstances and our responses to them and thoughts about them. So  believing one is unchangeable and is the same self they were at birth and will always be that same self is an illogical choice to make.  We are shaped by our responses to life experiences and the experiences we have are based on our thoughts about them. Our responses shape who we are constantly becoming.

The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.– Buddha

I’ve prepared for death twice now and both times I lived on after the fear of pain and suffering had dissipated. There are levels of consciousness beyond the physical one and death and rebirth are part of the continuous process of change. We are not only reborn at the time of death of our bodies, we are born and reborn at every moment. The majority of the cells in the human body die and are replaced many times during the course of one’s life. Even those few cells which last one’s entire life undergo constant internal changes. If we look at the mind, we find that mental/emotional states of anxiety, happiness, etc. are changing every moment. They die and are replaced by new states. So whether we look at the body or the mind, our experience is characterized by continuous birth, death and rebirth.

Learning life lessons is a lifelong experience that transcends many lives, and when we close our minds to challenging our beliefs in this life we close our minds to life itself.

Discussion

Are you aware of constantly becoming you?

Are you experiencing seachange?

*This post is dedicated to Marty of Aphorism Of The Day and Mario of Photodiction.

Related posts found in this blog:

Breaking through
Set Yourself Free
Do you love yourself?
A New Attitude: Can Do!
Overcoming Chronic Illness and Stress

34 thoughts on “Constantly becoming me

  1. Pingback: Individuality and Compassionate Connection | this time – this space

  2. Timethief,

    I found you because you answered a question about adding a share button to my blog. And then serendipity took over. I’m also exploring new directions in life after more than 30 years of working a profession I loved. It’s time, though, to discover all the other things life has to offer. And that’s what I blog about as I journey through it at actthree.net – a first time blogger with lots to learn.

    Thanks for your help and thanks for letting me find you. I’m now a subscriber. I’m inspired by your thoughts and your blog design!:)

    • Hi Joyce,
      I apologize for being so far behind when it comes to answering comments. I’m experiencing a busy time in my life and I’m not as organized as I could be so thank s for your patience. Life is a journey of discovery and I’ll be following your blog and reading what you discover. Thanks so much for following mine. Thanks also for the compliment on my blog design.

  3. TiTi,
    Well, I agree with just about everyone here. Lovely, lovely post!

    You are a living, breathing embodiment of the emerging “new human.” You have two, interconnected, working brain hemispheres, a skillful mind (the word “disciplined” tugs gently at my sleeve!), and, at the core of it all, a tender heart and limitless spirit. Human evolution can be such an astoundingly beautiful process when faced without fear — and there you are, proof and pudding, sharing with unbridled honesty and the journeyer’s wisdom. I know you did not pen these words to elicit applause, but nonetheless, Brava!

    Thx for visiting me over at Be Whole Now. I am quite the cyber-hermit, eh?

  4. Hi Val,
    Change is the only constant in the universe. if I had become awakened conscious earlier I would have been aware of constant becoming, but I don’t regret the journey. I learned much along the way and now I know that I have much more to learn. Thanks for your well wishes.

  5. Yes, I’m always becoming myself and have been aware of this from an early age, in fact it’s always been something of a wonder to me! I’m not sure about a seachange in the sense that you mean it, but I go along on what seems like a plateau level for a while and then – seemingly suddenly – a change occurs. My feeling about it is that the change is coming on so gradually that I don’t notice what’s happening consciously, but then it shows itself as a kind of surge.

    Change is part of nature, we are part of that nature.

    Hugs TiTi, and I hope you’re having a wonderful change yourself while you get more sunshine and have a rest. :)

  6. Pingback: Guidance | the world is my fishbowl

  7. Hello Laurel,
    I will let Alfred D’Souza say it for me:

    “For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin-real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”

    Learning to life of freedom from fear and guilt is an unfolding that only occurs after our minds accept that death is not destination; it’s a integral part of constantly becoming. We are born and reborn again every second. To map out a course of action and tread the pathway of this life’s journey requires strength, hope and courage. The path of spiritual growth is a path of learning that spans many lifetimes — lifetimes experienced in seconds of time and space, wherein we are learning the lessons of love.

  8. This is a tremendously powerful post that I will come back to again and again. I really like your discussion of seachange, which I feel I have experienced. So many good thoughts here. Thank you for the warmth, love and wisdom you share.

    • winsomebella,
      I enjoyed your last post “Where I’m From” so much. As I read it I felt the tingle of awareness as the hair on my arms raised and I said “yes”.

      “I am from the dissent of youth, the hope of love, the fullness of tending, the sorrow of loss, the contentment of age.”

      Whatever we see outside is created by the senses and the mind working together. When we don’t use the senses or the mind then we understand that reality is different from the appearances. We are not separate from the scenes we witness; we are an integral part of the ever changing landsape both without and within. We are one with all that is.

  9. Hi TT! You write very well, with calmness and wisdom. I loved the three quotes by Buddha, esp the last one. As Tagore said “Where the mind is without fear, and the head is held high…” I feel in our adult lives, we build up many fears – what will people say, fear of the unknown, etc. Enjoyed reading your post, as always.

    • Hello sprigblossoms,
      I enjoy your thoughtful aphorisms so much and I’m pleased to know you draw calmness and wisdom from mine.

      Your aphorism:

      “When thoughts are gone, I am the wind the wind through the leaves.”

      Mine:

      “When thoughts are gone, I am the tranquility between the ebb and flow tides.”

  10. I’ve read this through three times. I don’t have any words of wisdom to add, but wanted to let you know that I found this serene and full of wisdom. I had not previously thought about the constant renewal of our physical self, as well as the endless possibilities to take responsibility for renewing our spiritual or psychic self.

    I hope you don’t mind if I share here another beautifully written post from Laurel’s Reflections which arrived in my inbox at the same time as yours, and covers similar themes. You and some of your readers may find it interesting:

    http://laurelsreflections.wordpress.com/2011/08/15/multiplicity/

  11. Pingback: Choosing to be Dynamic « Unfolding Your Path to Joy

    • Hello Cherry,
      I have found what it takes to be happy is to revisit your core values and replace those that aren’t working for you. Then you can commit to self-healing and the decision to be happy can be made every moment of your life regardless of your circumstances. Along the way it’s necessary to become your own cheerleader so you can encourage yourself to keep moving towards your goal of achieving your life purpose by learning how to love and how to live a life of love. The happiness choice comes easily when we begin to love ourselves and our love overflows our hearts to touch the hearts of others.

  12. Beautiful and timely….thank you:)
    I am currently in a sea change..thank you for introducing me to the term. This morning, full of self doubt as I allow for a dream and was questioned externally, I “found” a photo of my favorite spot on a local beach..this afternoon I went to that beach and played in the waves..celebrating infinite possibility and all that is reflected to me in the waves…
    Like Sandra, I too love this: ” we are born and reborn at every moment”…very inspiring and encouraging as I allow my heart whispers to manifest my reality…

    • Hello Joy,
      We all experience the seachange and I’m glad I inspired you to find and use a photo of your favorite beach. I’m also delighted to hear you played in the waves. I live on an island edged in beautiful beaches under the inflluence of the tides. Every summer I’m in the company of children. Their boundless energy, curiosity, imagination, creativity, a sense of anticipation and wonder (anything can happen/anything is possible) are reawakened within me. What a gift childlike wonder and wisdom are.

  13. timethief ~ May your inner sun keep shining on. What a beautiful summary of the essence of mind and evolution. This is such a key point to know and recall > “…we are born and reborn at every moment.”

    The last decade have contained many challenges for me. It hasn’t been easy at all. Since last summer, there’s been a much greater sense of “constantly becoming me” with a greater sense of surrender and joy.

    I too find that knowing the difference between the brain and the essence of mind is so empowering. And knowing that we can train the mind makes all the difference in the world.

    • Hi Sandra,
      It’s been such a pleasure getting to know you. I have gained so much from reading your posts. You have isolated the key point in mine and that doesn’t suprise me. Your final paragraph sums up my experience as well. Like you this past decade has been one of challenges for me. It’s so good to be in this place of awareness of constantly becoming me.

  14. You are a great source of comfort to me. I love the way you write. Thank you for this post and its clear prompts to step back on the path to becoming me. Not very easy at the moment. Have a wonderful rest of summer TT!

    • Dear Joanna,
      Thank you so much for your kind words. I’ve never thought of myself being a comfort to you or a particularly good writer either and it thrills my heart to hear that. It also scares me a little too.
      Love you,
      TiTi

  15. This is another one of your posts that I can absolutely relate to. Exactly this time last year, Rod and I were returning to Tucson after several stressful and tumultuous months in Atlanta caring for Rod’s mother while she was dying. I took that time to write a journal about the experience and about my life growing up in Atlanta, and about my horribly dysfunctional family, and about Rod’s mum. Knowing that I could not completely heal if I kept it to myself, I posted every chapter, seven in all, on my blog.

    For many, many years, just the thought of having to go to Atlanta, where all the ghosts were waiting to howl at me, was enough to make me physically sick. In fact, I didn’t want to take any kind of trip at all. I wanted to stay at home where I felt safe.

    We just returned from a 4500 mile trip to the Georgia coast and back. Seeing the green and gold marsh grass, inhaling the wet earthy scent, walking in the surf with our dogs, and watching the sun set was more exciting and relaxing than it had been for more years than I care to remember.

    I HAVE used skillful means to heal myself, and to help others. Thank you for a wonderful post.

    • Dear Judie,
      I hear you in my heart. My private journal blog is one of my skillful means of sorting through my life and healing myself too. I’m so glad this post resonated for you.
      Love,
      TiTi

  16. TiTi, reading this has brought a lump to my throat. Long may you enjoy the liberation of this sunshine summer. Those years of ‘me’ spent hiding in fear of punishment, the guilt ….yes, I am constantly aware of daily becomings while asking the question what took me so long? Thank you so much for sharing such an uplifting postcard from your summer!

    • Hi Patti,
      As we share a common background I understand why you teared up reading this, while others may not comprehend why that happened. Dance like there’s no one else watching Patti. Live your precious life to the fullest.

      “Dance like nobody’s watching; love like you’ve never been hurt. Sing like nobody’s listening; live like it’s heaven on earth.”
      Mark Twain

  17. I have experienced sea change. One of the most intense and painful part of my life. It is almost physiological. It is true when they say that when your heart is breaking it feels like it is being ripped apart into shreds., It felt like that. But I guess, in those moments of blinding pain in our lives, self preservation always kicks in. If we can’t change the things around us, then we change our minds. We need to accept things we could not change and rather find a way to accommodate these experiences. As they say, if it can’t destroy you then it will make you stronger. And it did. I will always guard myself against emotional dependence on others. No one can heal you but your self.

    • Hi Baxter,
      You nailed it: “If we can’t change the things around us, then we change our minds.” I also agree that we are our own healers and I wish I had learned that lesson when I was much younger. I also think that dealing with adversity in healthy ways does make us strong. Best wishes to you.

  18. TT, what an excellent post. You know, I HAVE become aware of ‘becoming me,’ though I must say it’s more of a recent development. Contrary to what I predicted when I was younger, I find myself more aware of my growth than when I was younger. I loved the bullet points you made. All of it is so true.

    • Hi Janene,
      It’s interesting to find that you agree with all my bullet points. I wish I could say those lessons were easily learned but they weren’t. Thanks for your comment.

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