A New Attitude: Can Do!

sad face happy face Resisting change is innate in the human psyche rooted deeply in our fear and desire to control.  Grumpiness is the negative attitude that arises when  we are faced with the truth and choose to resist reality —  we can’t control anything other than what we are doing in the moment.

Any mental or emotional response to change, either in the form of attachment to the past, or aversion to what’s current, or fixation on the future,  is ultimately an expression of fear. Fear can manifest in many forms and be directed inwardly or outwardly. Our most deeply-rooted fear is the fear of death, and it’s frightening regardless of what age you are.  If we are to live well,  we have no choice but to overcome our fear.

The definitions of grumpiness include:  surly and peevish; cranky;  ill-tempered; discontentedly or sullenly irritable. That describes the emotions I have been experiencing since I awoke to a broken foot.

  • Grumpy was my response to spring weather that was cooler and wetter than usual as my bones ached and my broken foot throbbed.
  • Grumpy was my response to spending a small fortune to travel to medical centers and labs.
  • Grumpy was my response being tested and scanned over and over again while specialists puzzled over results that don’t match symptoms.
  • Grumpy was my response to hobbling around on crutches or cane and/or hopping on one foot.
  • Grumpy was my response to falling down twice and hurting my knee and hip.
  • Grumpy was my response to enduring a  fibromylagia flare-up through out this process.
  • Grumpy resulted in becoming withdrawn, falling behind in blogging and commenting but not feeling motivated to act.
  • Grumpy was my state state of being – a moment away from breaking down, bawling my eyes out,  and wallowing in a pool of self-pity.
  • Grumpy was the result of being focused on everything I could not do with a broken foot, rather than focusing on what I can do.
So how did I get to this place of suffering and what underlies my grumpiness? Sadly, it was by choice.  I was attached to spring unfolding in a specific way and when it didn’t I chose to resist change.  My response to the spontaneous breaking of my foot bones was fear wrapped in the garb of self righteous indignation — why me?

I was longing to get into fence mending, brush clearing, forest clean-up, out building clean up, spring housecleaning, mowing and weed wacking, etc. but those are impossible to do when hobbling about on crutches.  Change is inevitable. There’s nowhere to go from here but either down into depression (Nay!), or up into a better attitude (Yay!).  Despite my inability to do many things I expected to be able to do,  I’m aimed at overcoming fear and elevating my mood by focusing on what I can do.

Positive thinking helped me heal. It made me see the best of the world. It made me more aware. It made me hope. It made me live soulfully. It made living happily so simple. It is my only savior in my most trying times. — Zeenat in The Secret to an Unwavering Positive Outlook

Luckily, greenhouse and deck gardening are still on my “can-do “list though going up and down the stairwell by hopping on one foot or using a cane or crutches are not easy to do. As I can’t carry plants up and down my husband has rigged up a basket and pulley system for me to use.  (Love that man, I do.) So now I have let go of the desire to control and I’m intent on establishing a  new attitude: can do!

Discussion

I am an introvert and when I feel frightened and threatened I withdraw. I examine what’s going on inside me before I choose to act to take care of myself.

What do you do when you recognize you are feeling threatened and resisting change?

What steps do you take to pacify and comfort the fearful child within you?

How do you make the change in direction required to escape the negative  ‘can’t do’  thinking trap and adopt a positive  ‘can do’ attitude?