The 2009 holiday season is officially here and while most of us look forward to the excitement of the season, some may be overwhelmed by the stress of shopping, winter travel conditions, office parties, and family gatherings. Although we all hope that peace will prevail when friends and relatives get together in the season of good cheer, the stress can trigger difficult behavior in some people.
I have invisible disabilities. I cope with pain and chronic exhaustion every day, and during the winter months I become depressed (SAD (seasonal affective disorder). To prevent feeling stressed and overwhelmed during the season of fa-la-la I take care of myself.
There’s a strong connection between fibromyalgia and insomnia so being sure I’m getting a good night’s sleep is a high priority every night of the year. In this season daylight hours are shorter so I use a special SAD lamp for an hour every day. I eat healthy meals, keep up my yoga practice, relaxation techniques (meditation, breathing and chanting). That combination helps me stay balanced, and make the happiness choice, regardless of what’s going on around me.
If you are likewise determined to take care of yourself, and develop some strategies for dealing with difficult people, then your holiday season will be a happy one too. Here’s some expert and excellent advice I found on the internet.
Mayo Clinic Staff offer 10 tips for coping with stress, depression and the holidays:
Stress and depression can ruin your holidays and hurt your health. Being realistic, planning ahead and seeking support can help ward off stress and depression.
In her article How To Handle Family Conflict and Holiday Stress, Elizabeth Scott provides 5 tips as well including, Take Turns with Relatives, Host Celebrations At Your House, Be Prepared For Some Conflict, Just Say No and Surround Yourself with Friends.
Kate Zabriskie provides some physical and mental strategies for Dealing with Difficult Relatives During the Holidays, .
If you lose your focus and allow yourself to get sucked into other’s negative behavior, it may take you until March to fully deprogram. On the other hand, by accepting your “relative reality,” you ought to have those people out of your system no later than the 10th of January or so.
Hello TT, It’s been a while. I’ve been “at sea” for some time now, but my first internet port of call is to your blog. You provide a harbour during a wicked storm and a inspirational wind during an empty calm.
Your message to “take good care during the holidays” is really important. Many people do find this season stressful or depressing. Although I’m one of the lucky ones who loves this time of year, my danger is to run myself totally ragged. You reminded me that taking care of oneself is the greatest gift you can give yourself for the season. Cheers, cgn
.-= Cindy´s last blog ..Creativity and Aging =-.
@Cindy,
I’m so glad you visited and commented. Yes this season can be a very blue one for many people and I’m among them. I’m also working very hard and the combination is not a good one for mental health. I have learned what I need to do so my presence is a welcoming one and wanted to share that with others. I hope you have a wonderful holiday.
Love and peace
I think that in countries with fewer hours of daylight there might be more people who suffer from sadness. Also I think even the daylight hours can be dim with clouds or perhaps rain. In India there is so much bright light that it hurts the eyes and also the hours of daylight are long. I wonder if there is any survey on whether there is a higher rate of depression amongst people who live in cold and dark climes. I personally love sunlight and if I stay at home even for a day I feel restless. I then go out in the backyard and clean it or simply water the plants and I am fine!
.-= Nita´s last blog ..Angelina Jolie’s hand shows that she is fun to be with though she isn’t serious enough! =-.
I don’t know if any comparative studies have been done or not. All I know is when I live where it was high, dry and extremely snowy and cold there was lots of sunshine. We had to wear sunglasses due to the glare and I was never plagued by SAD. When I moved to the raincoast where there are far fewer sunny days through the winter rain season I developed SAD. If I were well to do I suppose I could join the “snow birds” who spend every winter down south in Mexico, etc. Meanwhile I use my lamp and it’s effective without a doubt.
I don’t celebrate the holidays. I treat them like any other time of the year. I do my usual things that I enjoy and don’t feel any pressure to make it a special time. I do prefer the warmth and long days of summer but winter doesn’t depress me. I enjoy being lazy and frittering around the house and I go for walks whenever I see the least gleam of sunshine. It’s also very gray where I live, we average 300 cloudy days a year, but I’ve gotten used to it and find there’s still lots of things to appreciate and look at. I hope your holiday season turns out to be a happy one and the rest of winter as well.
I too prefer the long days of late summer and early fall. We celebrate Winter Solstice with friends. The rest of the Christmas hype we left behind years ago. Instead we use the downtime to read, piece jigsaw puzzles, visit and indulge ourselves in doing whatever we feel like doing. Thanks for your well wishes. Best wishes to you for a happy holiday season too.
TT – It has been awhile since we exchanged some comments. I have not been on BC much lately. IMHO – holiday stress comes the marketing hype of being told to enjoy the holidays (buy more stuff) and the thought that we are being judged by others. The holidays should not be a contest.
The “relative reality” is interesting. I can’t think of any problem relatives. Maybe I just know everyone is different and have their own opinions. Why should anyone expect their relatives to be perfect?
.-= lisleman´s last blog ..stay relaxed for the holidays =-.
Hello there. It’s so good to hear from you. You’re right abut the holiday season it shouldn’t a contest to compare the goods we are hyped into buying each other. That’s exactly why we left the gift giving behind year ago. You are very lucky if you don’t have problematic relatives because many of us do. Thanks for your well wishes I hope you have a happy holiday and a good new year too.
I’ve seen a lot of stress & disappointment as a direct result of peoples’ expectations over the holidays. As a result, I stopped celebrating holidays (except a yearly, private Samhain overnight somewhere in nature,) years ago. When you treat Xmas like any old Tues., it has a better chance of turning into a great day. Of course, having no kids, I have the luxury of making this decision, but that’s another story!
.-= Lana´s last blog ..In With the Used… =-.
Hi Lana,
I have witnessed the same as well. It’s high expectations that lead to free fall face plants. Like you I am childfree so I have no pressure in that regard. We celebrate Winter Solstice with our friends (a huge potluck party, bon fire and music and dancing), and we visit all the way through the holiday season.