Monthly Archives: October 2009

Silence is Medicine for the Soul

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alg2532In this mad world filled with video, TV, cell phone mania, and music of all kinds at all times and in all places, how much do you desire and value silence?

Do you yearn for silence or view it as an uncomfortable experience?

Do you make time for silence or do you avoid it?

I choose to start my days in silence with nothing on my agenda other than just being and meditating. I rise early and sit bundled up on deck chair with my cup of cocoa between my hands. As I inhale the aroma my mouth watering in anticipation of the moment the first creamy swallow will glide over my tongue, I sigh a single audible sigh, and then begin to seek the silence.

Sitting alone in a quiet place can be a difficult experience. Without distractions, we can feel bombarded by unpleasant thoughts and emotions. All the ways we’re unhappy about ourselves and our lives come raging back into our awareness when there’s space for them to come up.– How Getting Used To Silence Can Help Your Productivity by Christopher R. Edgar on Productivity

Observing silence outwardly but allowing my mind to be noisy wouldn’t do so when I finish I rise from my chair, sit my cup on the table and position myself cross-legged on the cushion I place there for this purpose. Then I begin by simply following my breath in and out. Not striving to change it in anyway simply observing it. With eyes half closed I witness my monkey mind cavorting from topic to topic and yammering, yammering, yammering about the things I must accomplish today. I pay this no mind but neither do I push it away. I continue to follow my breath – Buddhist Meditation: Mindful Breathing Practice. In time my monkey mind will quietly come to rest as I make the shift into consciousness — into the meditative state.

Some time later I make the shift back into everyday awareness filled  with the knowledge that all of us, all over the world, are living breathing cells in the body of humanity nurtured by the silence, a spacious place for growth.

Throughout the ages sages have emphasized the value of silence saying that talking expends energy and time, while silence insures we use our resources judiciously. An early defender of Quakerism, Robert Barclay, emphasized on how much more powerful silence is than any argument used to dissuade a person from the error of his ways. Indeed, self improvement coaches, counselors and writers exhort us to befriend silence for they have personal knowledge of its power.

For decades I have sought silence several times every day and cannot imagine what it would be like never to experience this peace and quiet and the benefits it brings me. Silence refreshes me and heals me of the exhaustion and angst caused by the noise of every day life. Silence provides the spaciousness in which my many scattered parts can come together and mend. Silence provides the canvas upon which my next painting will appear first on the back of my eyelids and then in reality.

What relationship do you have with silence?

thistimespace: my new tumblr blog

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3meI am constructing a new blog on tumblr thistimespace that contains music, videos, affirmations and quotations which are all focused on personal growth and development through meditation. For notice of updates please follow me on my thistimespace twitter account or subscribe to my blog’s feed http://thistimespace.tumblr.com/rss

A time to mourn?

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Photo: Fotolia

Last winter one of my male friends who suffered from depression committed suicide. It was a devastating loss and all around me I heard words uttered that indicated we have lost the wisdom of the ages and have replaced it with claptrap and cliches.

In times gone by grieving was expected and supported, but these days many think  we must work to distract ourselves from pain and suffering. Well, that’s what my friend’s wife attempted to do. After her husband’s suicide, she took the advice of her family members and attempted to lose herself in her work .

To me hearing  her relatives telling her to  ‘ get on with her life’ and ‘ go back to work — it’ll be good for you,’  after such a profound loss was heartless, but  they sincerely believed their advice was sound.

Why is this? Why are we advised to escape grief? Could it be fear?

All a grieving person needs is another person with a listening ear and an open heart and mind — a friend, who will encourage them to speak their truth and share what they are feeling. We are always uncomfortable when we witness pain and suffering. We fear that we won’t have what it takes to provide support to someone who is grieving. Also discussion of another person’s death is discomforting because it makes us re-examine our own lives and consider our own deaths, which we also fear.

Grief is itself a medicine. — William Cowper

So last winter when my friend  was working as many hours as she could, I was online and grieving my friend’s death. I found other people who were suffering from losses too. Some were going through major life changes (relationship breakdowns and relocation), and others were suffering from grief associated with the death or disappearance of someone from their lives.

After I experienced the first waves of pain and sorrow I became emotionally paralyzed, which is to say that I shut down my feelings. I hurt too much so I chose unconsciously to become numb. Then time passed and I entered a period where I did want to share my misery, and I’m glad to say that I found others with the same need. I really don’t know what I would have done without them. I love them for the loving kindness they extended to me. We formed an unofficial ‘grief group’ and sharing there became a source of returning strength and rebirth.

I began to paint daily and spontaneously. I used art as a form of therapy throughout the grieving process. I also played my drum and chanted, and in the third month following my friend’s death I went to the Elders and undertook a vision quest. Months later I recognized that the grieving process had been completed.

I came to know the following were truths:

  • You can postpone grief but you can’t avoid it;
  • unresolved grief can evolve into physical ailments, pain, and stress;
  • unresolved grief will re-emerge the next time someone you love dies;
  • natural disasters that involve death can bring up feelings of grief;
  • tapping into your creativity can help in your grief process;
  • your conscious intentional approach to grief work will teach others to do the same;
  • most grievers need help and support;
  • grieving the loss of a loved one sometimes evokes concerns about our own deaths.

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. — Henri Nouwen

Time is the here and the now moment and it’s my experience that the passage of time does not heal all wounds. I know my girlfriend, who will be visiting me soon, is still angry at her husband for killing himself.  I know his act left her feeling abandoned and depressed. I believe when she commemorates the anniversary of his death that bringing her hurt feelings into the open may provide a possibility of her forgiving him and ending her suffering. I want to ask my friend to share her feelings about her husband’s suicide with me.  What do you think?

And yet, perhaps this is one way to finally overcome our grief and sense of loss; that in the end, what will matter more is not their departure from our lives, but the impact, the difference, they’ve made to it. That’s not to say the pain would be any less or difficult; rather, that perhaps this may be that light at the end of the tunnel that allows us to make peace with this loss. –Saying goodbye to loved ones

A Lovely Award

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Aviary mindtransfer-net Picture 1A backlink is defined as a link from one website pointing back to your site , and what every blog needs is one-way non-reciprocal backlinks. A blog meme is a viral game where you generate links and relationships through asking other bloggers  to participate. The changes Google has made to determining authority and PageRank means obtaining backlinks has become a challenge, and blog memes are legitimate means of securing backlinks.

Elle at Chasing Education has selected this time ~ this space for the One Lovely Blog Award.

Here are the rules of the “One Lovely Blog Award”:

1.  Accept the award.
2.  Post it (the image) on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link.
3.  Pass the award to other blogs that you’ve newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

I’d like to spread the love to these terrific bloggers whose blogs are new additions to my reading list. Please take part in the meme and please also visit each others’ blogs.

  1. Activeleisure – The Hubby Diaries – A humorous look at the entertaining differences between men & women. All stories are taken directly from my marriage and the stories are written in a funny, lighthearted way!
  2. Benjamin – Peaceful Prosperity - Can you enjoy a deeper understanding of life, self, and your connection with others while still pursuing your goals? Absolutely! Does meditation/mysticism really help? Absolutely! Come find yourself with a smile! Coaching program is coming soon.
  3. Cindy Gee - Slow The Circle Down: The Real Secrets of Staying Young – This blog is evolving. It began as a blog about aging and staying young, but now it is writing its own direction as I tap into the connection between creativity and wellness. Slow the circle down. What do we uncover when we do so?
  4. Count Sneaky – Count Sneaky’s Journal – Moral and refined, unique and eccentric entertainment for ladies and gentlemen of all ages. Family friendly humor.
  5. Deray28 (Diana) – The hidden face of the moon (Translation of my blog “La cara oculta de la luna”.) – I’m a grad student and I like to write my dreams, letters never to be sent, movie reviews, book reviews, etc.
  6. Fatima – Your Wellness – Self improvement blog packed with exhilarating insight, inspirations, practical tips towards happiness, healthier life, building confidence, wellness, self discovery and many more.
  7. Fibrohaven (Dannette) – Fibromyalgia Haven – Diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 1997, I have been learning to live well with it ever since. The first step was accepting that my life would be different. Then I had to learn to embrace the new me, and all that I still have to offer. It hasn’t been easy, but I hope that by writing about my journey, you will feel more understood, and recognize that you are valuable, and you are not alone.
  8. Funkkeewebmistress – Funkkeejooce – Funkkeejooce is personal journal of a day to day life.It is a compilation of ramblings, observations, opinions and thoughts.
  9. Kate Miller – aspotofblog – This is a mature blog for adults only. Musings from a disillusioned female on men, relationships, sex and life in-between, trying to find where she belongs in this world.
  10. Meam Wye – Shining History – Medieval Islamic Civilization – Blog dedicated to the contributions of Muslims in science and technology during the Medieval Islamic Civilization.
  11. Nothingprofound – out of context: pieces of a life – Writing is a quiet space. Come join me in my quiet space and loiter a while. A thoughtful collection of original aphorisms, adages, catchphrases, maxims, proverbs, sayings.
  12. MissSuzie - Bringing Bitchy Back – Bringing Bitchy Back offers up a full serving of witty bitchiness. Available in four random flavors — act now and your order will be doubled.
  13. Rainhat – Rainhat music – I write about my music, and about what works and what doesn’t when you’re doing everything yourself the indie way. Here you can listen to my songs and read about my progress towards full time musicianship.
  14. Sandy – Rheumatoid Arthritis Support: Coping With Rheumatoid Arthritis and Autoimmune Disease – The diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis 12 years ago was devastating. After years of mainstream and alternative treatments I learned how to manage the disease and live within limitations.
  15. stillthinking of  unefilleamericaine.com – I am an architect by training, a writer by calling and dreadfully unqualified to call myself either. I will be journeying to a new city in the United States this year to rebuild my life and I figured that it was time I shed the bits of me I am not fond of. So, this is my reinvention.
  16. The Celtic Music Fan – celtic music fan - Celtic Music covers all genres of music coming from the seven Celtic nations: Ireland, Scotland, Wales, Cornwall, Isle of Man, Brittany and Galicia.
  17. TJlubrano – A Look in a Creative Mind – My blog’s primarily focus is on drawing. But besides drawing I also write (cook, sing, dance…yeah I can’t sit still haha. I’m a Sociology student with many hobbies haha. Being creative is what I live for and hope that I can give an insight in my ideas via my blog and I love to get to know new people! So if you visit my blog please leave a comment ^_^!
  18. Vivana -  Invisible Illness CFIDS/FMS – Allow yourself to share your experience with this invisible illness and help yourself and others too. Share your tools, how you deal with everyday life, and gain access to information on Chronic Fatigue and Immune Dysfunction Syndrome and Fibromyalgia (CFIDS/FMS). My Mission is to empower patients to take control of their health by providing my own story and experience with treatment information, quality health products, community, and advocacy.
  19. Zuzanna Musial – Lotus11 Love For Words And Music – This blog is about all kinds of poems. The inspiration comes from diverse sources, like listening to my favourite Gospel Songs or Classical instrumental music. My poems often related to life events, as it happens, also like to write poems that people can connect with and relate. Music is also my passion therefore; you will find videos with great tunes on my page too. I love life, people, Nature and peace.

Welcome to my Reading List! If you like to leave a comment please do.
Namaste,
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