This blog is focused on personal growth, personal development, self improvement, and relationships. I believe very strongly that we are our own healers so I seek out information focused on self help.
Our human historical records make it clear that people who attempt to rationalize and/or justify egocentric thoughts and behaviors as being requirements of their religion and/or political ideology are the most dangerous people on the planet.
I’ve been reading many books and articles on egocentricity. The one I favor most is The Miniature Guide to The Human Mind by Linda Elder and Richard Paul. I’m convinced every mindful adult can learn to detect egocentric tendencies in their own thoughts, words and actions, and that they can make conscious living changes so I’m determined to do so.
One can only relate to others based upon their own perception. All comparisons or differences one may establish are based upon their understanding of a concept which is where assimilation begins ie. it begins with that which they recognize.
One of the definitions of egocentric thinking means one had the tendency to perceive, understand and interpret the world in terms of the self. Therefore, one tends to believe everyone sees what they see/believe (or that what they see/believe, in some way, exceeds what others see).
The degree of egocentricity hinges on amount of invested interest which is a function of degree of emotion invested. Egocentricity is only the foundation assuming “we feel” confident about an area, or “we feel” proud, passionate, etc, as well as the degree of conviction and unwillingness to yield as discussion branches out.
Open mindedness and Egocentricity are diametrically opposed
We will probably all agree that open mindedness is a virtue. When I consider my own upbringing in my parents’ home, extended family circle, church, etc. I can identify very few adults who were open minded free thinkers. In fact, the only open minded free thinking role models that I was in contact with as a child were dismissed by my other and more dominant and influential family members as being bohemians who lacked credibility.
That scenario persisted throughout my younger years and by the time I was about 10 I came to understand where more dominant and influential family members were coming from. They were Christians who had slammed the doors to the corridors of thoughtfulness closed and isolated themselves from “things of the world”. They had all been brainwashed in the dogma and doctrine of the faith by their own parents and family as very young children, and they had all been culturally conditioned to parrot and to live by certain interpretations of ancient texts.
They were adults who spoke of “free will” but manifest no evidence of the same as they most certainly were not “free thinking” individuals. They had been successfully indoctrinated into an extremely egocentric, fear and guilt based belief system, and they were now preoccupied with brainwashing and indoctrinating the next generation.
I eagerly looked forward to the time when I could escape that milieu, and I chose to be in the company of the free thinkers as frequently as I could until I could make my escape.
As I matured I became aware that an individual can believe in supernatural things and yet not hold to the dogmatism that comes with any religion. Many called this “spirituality” and their numbers included believers and unbelievers (secular humanists, atheists and agnostics), all of whom who called themselves spiritual because of the sense of wonder they have in the universe around them. They were fair-minded reasonable people, who cared about how their behavior affects the lives of others, and were all focused on making the world a more civilized and just place for everyone. I strongly preferred being in their company to being the company of others.
Witnessing egocentricity
John Sanford and George Lough provide this definition: “Egocentricity may be defined as a state in which a person is concerned with his own defense and the fulfillment of his own ambitions, which ambition, on close scrutiny, turn out to be closely tied to his defenses.”
The import of this is simple. A man is inducted into a religion from birth or at any point in his lifetime. Through the practice of that religion, he is told he can reach to God. He is told that there are certain things he must do to maintain his acceptance as a follower. He might be indoctrinated, he might not be. But now he has a defense and an ambition.
His defense consists of his religion, that this is authentic manner to get to God, because the authenticity of the claim is narrated through tales and books he believes in. his ambition is to become a true follower of that religion, to leave nothing left in becoming an acclaimed follower of his God. And so, he is concerned (this concern varies in people) with that defense and the fulfillment of that ambition.
The Miniature Guide to The Human Mind lays the conceptual foundations necessary for understanding the mind, its functions, its natural propensity toward irrationality, and its capacity for rationality.
It is designed for those interested in developing their potential to be fair-minded reasonable persons, concerned with how their behavior affects the lives of others, concerned to develop their full humanity, concerned with making the world a more civilized and just place. It is designed for those willing to transform their thinking to improve their decisions, the quality of their lives, the quality of their interpersonal relationships, and their vision of the world. It is intended to provide an initial map to help interested persons begin the process of freeing themselves from the traps their minds have constructed.
The human mind is naturally prone to the following egocentric tendencies:
- egocentric memory (the natural tendency to “forget” evidence and information which does not support our thinking and to “remember” evidence and information which does)
- egocentric myopia (the natural tendency to think absolutistically within an overly narrow point of view)
- egocentric infallibility (the natural tendency to think that our beliefs are true because we believe them)
- egocentric righteousness (the natural tendency to feel superior in the light of our confidence that we are in the possession of THE TRUTH)
- egocentric hypocrisy (the natural tendency to ignore flagrant inconsistencies between what we profess to believe and the actual beliefs our behavior imply, or inconsistencies between the standards to which we hold ourselves and those to which we expect others to adhere)
- egocentric oversimplification (the natural tendency to ignore real and important complexities in the world in favor of simplistic notions when consideration of those complexities would require us to modify our beliefs or values)
- egocentric blindness (the natural tendency not to notice facts or evidence which contradict our favored beliefs or values)
- egocentric immediacy (the natural tendency to over-generalize immediate feelings and experiences–so that when one event in our life is highly favorable or unfavorable, all of life seems favorable or unfavorable as well)
- egocentric absurdity (the natural tendency to fail to notice thinking which has “absurd” consequences, when noticing them would force us to rethink our position)
Feelings that Accompany Egocentrism
Essential Idea: When egocentric thinking is successful in getting what it wants, positive feelings accompany it. But when egocentric thinking is not able to achieve its purposes, negative feelings result.
These are some of the many feelings that might accompany egocentric thinking. They often occur when egocentric thinking is “unsuccessful.”
- Defensiveness
- Arrogance
- Apathy
- Alienation
- Resentment
- Depression
- Anger
- Irritability
- Indifference
I’m struggling every day to detect, correct and conquer my own egocentric thoughts, words and actions, so I can make a direct contribution to peace and harmony in my own life and in the world. How about you?
Aluwir / Norski/ Brian Gill
June 1, 2009
I’m inclined to agree that excessive focusing on oneself is a bad idea.
Two points, though. First, there’s quite a range among religions when it comes to belief. Taoism, Shinto, and Buddhism are rather distinct from one another, for example. And, although it’s hard to remember in some parts of America “evangelical churches” are not the whole of Christendom.
Buddha of Hollywood
June 2, 2009
I am you :)
Doson
June 2, 2009
Am I egocentric? Yes, i think but most of the time I don’t know where is my focus point. When there’s excessive egotism within me then I’m dreaming.. nothing else.
So in a way i can say I don’t struggle much :)
Melinda
June 2, 2009
Hi Timethief,
Someone once told me (a rather corny expression) that if we are all wrapped up in ourselves, it makes for a small package. And I feel that is true. I honesty feel the best way to combat egocentricity is to get out of one’s self and help other people who are worse off than you are. This is what I try to do.
The tendency many of us have to focus solely on ourselves is very destructive to growth–because if we are unable to view the world from other perspectives, we cannot see the changes we need to make in ourselves.
Excellent article. I am behind in my blog reading and trying to catch up this week!
Take care,
Melinda
earthtoholly
June 3, 2009
Excellent post, TT.
This explains a lot about a close relative, and sorry to say, the old adage “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” holds some truth. I…uhhh, the apple will work on furthering itself from that tree…
ladylyf
June 5, 2009
I am a christian and i have to agree we seem to have a monopoly on egocentricity (is that being egocentric?) but I am aware there’s a big huge world out there and I have this hunger & curiosityfor knowledge and learning so i guess that helps with my egocentricity. On the other hand, thinking I KNOW coz of things i’ve learned doesn’t help. I will be more conscious of this tendency now.
Jenn Thorson
June 5, 2009
As a child of a person who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, I can see much of the truth in the post you have above.
When the view is skewed entirely by a sense of This is My World, so Everyone Else is an Extension/Reflection of Me and Nothing More, finding out that this is not the case is extremely painful for them, and can cause all sorts of explosive or passive-aggressive behaviors. Egocentricism is a lesser form of this, obviously, since typically the merely egocentric person can feel guilt and has empathy, where folks with NPD don’t seem to.
But it’s certainly helpful to be able to step outside yourself sometimes and try to take the view from someone else’s eyes.
roentarre
June 5, 2009
Hi TT
A good post. I am led to this post from your posting at BC
The word egocentricity is a brilliant terminology. Every once in a while, I fall into that category. However, this is in keeping with the teaching of Buddhism in some ways. Ego is an imaginary entity made up of irrelevant inputs. The inputs are not equal to Ego. Ego are a schema denoted by a number of little bits of information.
Who am I? Or who is thinking who I am? When the word who is spoken, who actually speaks?
I found the word egocentricity generates a lot of confusion, conflict and dispute around the word. Without Ego, where is you, him and me?
Hicham
June 12, 2009
Very insightful indeed, TimeThief.
Since quiet long time ago, maybe over 15 years, I’ve came to a conclusion that people -unfortunately- are stereotyped. They want others to follow their path or else being excluded regardless the religion.
Nevertheless, I do believe that this is neither the fault of ‘God’ nor ‘religion’-whatever- as much as it’s the fault of the people who preach this religion. It seems to me a common problem in all societies. Of course I respect everybody’s choice to believe in what he/she wants to.
As for your question, we are humans so egocentricity is something found in us, but it’s our duty to correct it as you said. I am working on this all the time because our human nature need to be always fine tuned.
Robert Frittmann
June 26, 2009
I read this post with great interest. I am currently going through a process of identifying, classifying, and organizing all of the various aspects of my own self in order to set goals and direction in my life. I am doing this after the bitter disappointment that I found in the faith of my childhood. I have pretty much cut off ties to religion and family for now as I assess my own thoughts and feelings about each aspect, clarifying why I feel the way I do about each, and documenting it in an ontology of myself. I intend to rebuild those relationships with family and faith, on my own terms, later, once I have collected my thoughts. Introspection, I guess you could call it, is not the same as egocentrism.
I enjoyed what you have said here and will no doubt come back to it again once I am ready to start assessing my beliefs and values. “The Miniature Guide to the Human Mind” also sounds very interesting, and I shall go on to read that also, later. Thanks for a stimulating read.
celticmusicfan
June 27, 2009
Interesting. Thanks for giving laying down the different types of egocentric behavior. I see those manifest in the lives of people I care about.
Yun Yi
February 26, 2011
This is very interesting and intelligent topic! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I fully agree with everything you said.
From what I read, this “egocentricity” seems to be a synonym of “conformity”, or with some minor differences.
I consider myself quite open minded from beginning. However, I have been able to discern some of my “egocentric” thoughts through time to time, so I guess I still yet to find some “narrow minded” thoughts in future.
I believe TT, we all are some sort of egocentric more or less, as you pointed out “One can only relate to others based upon their own perception”. So, the growth of our wisdom may just lie in this procedure of being less “egocentric”. But, there is a line divides open minded and narrow minded people: the former are able to be aware of egocentricity and willing to accept things that are out of scope of their perception, the later never willing to change a bit.
Yun Yi
February 26, 2011
TT, i take it back, about “egocentricity” seems to be a synonym of “conformity””. it’s not. but conformity can be the sequel of egocentricity.
and i agree that people with open mind are truly a rarity in this world.
timethief
February 26, 2011
@Yun Yi
Thank you for both comments. :)
Sandra Lee
February 27, 2011
I loved the title of this post. This is a terrific topic. What I don’t understand is why religion is generalized and labeled as the automatic enemy. I don’t think that’s always the case in all religions.
In Buddhism, generally speaking, it is understood that the ego doesn’t exist in the first place and the whole thrust is undoing this strong grip we have on the idea of self. Ego is the main culprit in our suffering. In Tibetan it is called “dak dzin” and “means grasping to a self.”
Excellent article. I’m inspired by your commitment to disarm egocentricity. This is truly the path to peace.
timethief
March 3, 2011
Hi Sandra,
Whew! I have had such a run of weird weather, and power outages medical appointments, etc. that your comment has been here waiting for me to approve and respond to it for a long while. I apologize.
I don’t consider religion to be my enermy but I believe history points out how dangerous religions can be. I don’t have a religion. I follow a philosophy and I also understand what you have shared. :)
Three Marks of Existence.
Anicca, impermanence: all things are transitory, nothing lasts.
Anatta, No-Self or No-Soul: human beings, and all of existence, is without a soul or self. There is no eternal, unchanging part of us. The entire idea of self is as an illusion, an illusion causing immeasurable suffering; and this illusion gives rise to the egocentricities protecting the self or “ego” to presumably preserve its interests, which is futile since nothing is permanent anyway.
Dukkha, suffering: all of existence, not just human existence but even the highest states of meditation, are forms of suffering, ultimately inadequate and unsatisfactory.
Buddhism tends to focus on psychological insights; the problem with bad or selfish action is that it molds our personality, creates ruts or habitual patterns of thinking and feeling. These patterns in turn result in the effects of karma in our lives. It was through Buddhism that I became aware of egocentricity.
Im so glad to hear your feedback on this. Like you have said – this is truly the path to peace.
gharlow
April 10, 2011
You are a very intelligent lady though I don’t follow your beliefs I respect you and what your passionate about I am a man of prayer and I will be praying for you. God Bless and you are a wonderful writer I hope one of these days I will be able to write with intelligence also. Thank you for your writings.
timethief
April 10, 2011
Thanks for your visit and your kind words as well. Best wishes to you in all you do.