A Week of Love
It is so easy for couples that have been together for some time to get to a point where they begin to take one another for granted. It doesn’t take much to find yourself in a routine where your needs are put first without considering the other’s. It almost becomes a habit to just live together instead of interacting like we did in the beginning of the relationship. I noticed my husband and I had begun to follow this same pattern. We started brushing past each other without any hint of affection. We finally decided enough was enough, it was time to recreate intimacy so we devised the “week of love” plan. We did this together and it was a really nice change:
Day 1: Remember why you are together. Sit down and list the reasons you fell in love with your significant other. List the things you enjoy and admire about them. To make this even more special, when you are done, exchange the lists and see what you wrote about each other.
Day 2: Set aside a time to talk. Use this time to talk about expectations and disappointments. Tell your significant other what you wish were happening in the relationship and what you want. The only rule is that no one can be wrong. Do not let this talk turn into an all-out brawl. Use this conversation to see what you can be doing to better the relationship from your end.
Day 3: Designate a day of affection. Each time you walk past your significant other, display a sign of affection. Give them a peck on the cheek or a rub on the back. It doesn’t have to be much, just something that shows you are still interested and still care.
Day 4: Present one another with a small gift or note. It isn’t the size of the gift that counts, but the thought you put into it. The gift should be something that reinforces your love for one another. This will serve as a reminder that there are two of you in the relationship.
Day 5: Have a drink together. We often get caught up in the daily grind and forget the importance of spending time together. Whether it be coffee in the morning or tea in the evening after work, set aside some time to enjoy each other’s company.
Day 6: Recreate your first date. There’s something special about reminiscing and recalling the start of your relationship. Remembering all the good times you’ve had and all the trials you’ve made it through is very encouraging. This also gives you a chance to appreciate how far you’ve come together.
Day 7: Do something you both like. All couples are different, so this day is up to you. The only rule is that it has to be something you both enjoy doing and has to be done together. This will reinforce that there are two of you in a relationship and while having time to yourself is nice, spending time doing something together is just as nice.
Pursuing personal development, growth and self improvement within an intimate relationship takes plenty of hard work, time, and effort. Trying to manage the relationship on your own makes the task seem even harder. We have to learn to work together to appreciate what each other brings to the table. In the end, it’s those who work together that stay together.
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13 Comments on “A Week of Love”
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Good advice here. Even after having been together some years now, my husband & I are still very close & still do most of the things advised. Like anything else, a relationship needs maintenance, too.
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@Lana
Thanks so much for commenting on Jamie’s post. As she’s not available I’m pinch hitting. In order to endure long term relationships requires tender loving care and from time to time we recognize that we have come up short and need to re-connect.
That is a great plan! I will have to incorporate it into my daily life.
I have been married for almost six months now and lived with my husband for a couple of years prior to marriage. I can definitely agree that the daily grind has a lot of impact on how you treat each other and see each other on a daily basis.
Its really important though to keep the relationship and love going for each other and I think the key to it is not taking each other for granted by any means. When you see your spouse and feel thankful for having him or her in your life, it brings you back to the day you first met and first fell in love. You begin to feel the excitement you did before but in a different and more profound way because you now know each other a lot better.
I have been meditating for a few months now and can honestly admit that it has greatly impacted my relationship with my husband and the way I see life in general.
I’ve always been focused on not taking him or anyone for granted but still know that I have. Meditating has helped me become a more calm and less emotionally reactive person and has helped me value the time we spend together even more. It’s definitely helped me put things in perspective and not let my career take over my whole life… balance is good but unfortunately not easy for many of us!
All the best to you,
Sonia Gallagher
Hello Sonia,
As my guest author Jamie isn’t available so I’m replying ro your comment. I have been a practicing yogini and meditator for over 25 years and now find it difficult to recall a time before meditation.
My husband and I have been married for over 30 years. I can attest that our relationship has both waxed and waned, and did so in accord with the amount of awareness and mindfulness that we were both bringing to it.
Aside from practicing sitting meditation and walking meditation, IMO it’s of the utmost importance that we practice mindfulness and ensure that the intimacy connection is not broken. From time to time we need to rejuvenate and relight the flame of communication and eroticism, lest the fire burn out. I believe Jamie’s article provides a wonderful way to do that.
P.S. I hope you like my daily meditation feature in the top right hand corner of the front page of the blog.
Great idea! My husband and I have been married for 11 years and sometimes it just takes a little reminder…
Thanks.
@MJ
Well I hope a mini-holiday together is in the offing for you two then. Thanks so much for commenting. :)
Good reminders – it takes just a little extra effort to turn the week into habit :)
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@Melissa
That’s so very true but I’ll be first to admit that from time to time I fail to make that effort. When I “come to” I recognize that it’s time to communicate and to connect again.
Hi,
My name is Kate Bazilevsky. I am an official “Totems” Laboratory Rep. The Lab studies the Catalog of Human Population (“Shan Hai Jing”), which is now open and can be used in ALL areas of human activity. The Catalog contains full descriptions of all people (based on DOB). People born on the same day (depending on leap or common year) have the same “program” and therefore are MOST compatible. Therefore, learning about yourself and communicating with people that are like yourself – solves ALL relationships and any other problems.
If this interests you, more information can be found by searching for “Catalog of Human Population” on Google.
All the best!
Kate Bazilevsky
@kate
Thanks for the interesting comment.
good advice… i wanted to follow it. but it all went to ashes as day 2 came…. :(
i guess some relations are just not meant to last….
take care
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My wife and I have been married for 37 years. We live together with daily arguments, which we both like, and so we enjoy marital harmony. All the points discussed by you are essential especially in the early married life. Nice post.
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