It is so easy for couples that have been together for some time to get to a point where they begin to take one another for granted. It doesn’t take much to find yourself in a routine where your needs are put first without considering the other’s. It almost becomes a habit to just live together instead of interacting like we did in the beginning of the relationship. I noticed my husband and I had begun to follow this same pattern. We started brushing past each other without any hint of affection. We finally decided enough was enough, it was time to recreate intimacy so we devised the “week of love” plan. We did this together and it was a really nice change:
Day 1: Remember why you are together. Sit down and list the reasons you fell in love with your significant other. List the things you enjoy and admire about them. To make this even more special, when you are done, exchange the lists and see what you wrote about each other.
Day 2: Set aside a time to talk. Use this time to talk about expectations and disappointments. Tell your significant other what you wish were happening in the relationship and what you want. The only rule is that no one can be wrong. Do not let this talk turn into an all-out brawl. Use this conversation to see what you can be doing to better the relationship from your end.
Day 3: Designate a day of affection. Each time you walk past your significant other, display a sign of affection. Give them a peck on the cheek or a rub on the back. It doesn’t have to be much, just something that shows you are still interested and still care.
Day 4: Present one another with a small gift or note. It isn’t the size of the gift that counts, but the thought you put into it. The gift should be something that reinforces your love for one another. This will serve as a reminder that there are two of you in the relationship.
Day 5: Have a drink together. We often get caught up in the daily grind and forget the importance of spending time together. Whether it be coffee in the morning or tea in the evening after work, set aside some time to enjoy each other’s company.
Day 6: Recreate your first date. There’s something special about reminiscing and recalling the start of your relationship. Remembering all the good times you’ve had and all the trials you’ve made it through is very encouraging. This also gives you a chance to appreciate how far you’ve come together.
Day 7: Do something you both like. All couples are different, so this day is up to you. The only rule is that it has to be something you both enjoy doing and has to be done together. This will reinforce that there are two of you in a relationship and while having time to yourself is nice, spending time doing something together is just as nice.
Pursuing personal development, growth and self improvement within an intimate relationship takes plenty of hard work, time, and effort. Trying to manage the relationship on your own makes the task seem even harder. We have to learn to work together to appreciate what each other brings to the table. In the end, it’s those who work together that stay together.
