You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are … and that’s alright. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn’t do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it’s not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
Yes, I do love myself. I view self-love as a condition of awareness, a way of perceiving, an attitude, which results in an integrated perception of the world. I believe the art of loving yourself begins with self-acceptance. You begin loving yourself when you stop rejecting yourself, especially on the emotional level. And when you practice self-acceptance of your feelings as they are right now, you will experience real changes in consciousness.
When you love yourself you will no longer try to juggle people or possessions in the external world in order to find inner fulfillment. You will no longer live a life focused on clinging to attachments and aversions. You no longer look to a big guy in the sky to send in a savior to rescue you from becoming intimately acquainted with your own true nature. You find fulfillment from within, simply by accepting, without acting out, your feelings just as they are right now.
Core Beliefs and The Four Agreements
Everything we do is based on core beliefs and agreements we have made – agreements with ourselves, with other people, with with life. But the most important agreements are the ones we make with ourselves. In these agreements we tell ourselves who we are, how to behave, what is possible, what is impossible. One single agreement is not such a problem, but we have many agreements that come from fear, deplete our energy, and diminish our self-worth. The simple ideas of The Four Agreements provide an inspirational code for life; a personal development model, and a template for personal development, behaviour, communications and relationships.
Learning how to love yourself is all about empowerment. Once you welcome all your true feelings, you become whole and your life becomes holistic. You experience oneness with others. You no longer compulsively search for oneness in the external world, whether with another person, or with a supernatural being (imaginary friend) in a future life. Instead you begin to experience oneness with all beings because once you can love yourself unconditionally, you become capable of loving others unconditionally too.
(1) Accept yourself for who you are and learn to love yourself just as you are;
(2) Accept your feelings and examine them closely so you can understand yourself mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually;
(3) Learn to direct your mind, body and emotions;
(4) Uncover core beliefs leftover from your childhood and replace the negative with positive;
(5) Strengthen your inner self and begin changing what you do not like about yourself;
(6) Witness the change in your self-esteem and self-confidence levels and celebrate your progress;
(7) Allow yourself to accept and others exactly as they are;
(8) Seek common ground but always celebrate differences;
(9) Practice The Four Agreements.
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