Lifelong Commitment Contracts

In the bad old days of the divine right of kings, citizens were compelled to become the willing slaves to the idiotic dogma and doctrine promulgated by religious organizations and their questionable “leaders”. Free will did not exist because they had no choice in the matter – the king made the decision for all, and lopped off heads, and even created new religions manned with sycophantic parasites to suit his own sexual appetites and convenience.

Gone are the days when women were chattels to be handed over to the spouse selected by their fathers who paid dowries. Marriage is a contract between two consenting adults, who may or who may not have been married before, and who may or who may not have assets. I strongly believe the terms of a prenuptial agreement ought to be carefully considered and agreed to prior to tying the knot, and that the time to consider the terms are during a period of cohabitation, prior to marriage.

We wouldn’t engage a partner in a business without taking the time to develop a contractual agreement that spelled out the purpose and extent of our relationship, why on earth do we feel we should not treat the most important relationship we will ever enter into with any less respect and planning? — Dane Morgan

To be clear I do NOT believe that becoming legally married is a requirement for a happy, healthy and enduring relationship. Many unmarried couples I know have demonstrated this truth. However, I do believe that it takes time to form and assess whether or not the basic ingredients for a long term or lifetime commitment exist within in a relationship, and that’s what co-habitation is for. If it does exist then I believe it’s advisable to attend premarital counseling, and to formalize that relationship by creating a prenuptial contract before marrying.

Accept me as I am.

Love me without fear.

Want me without demand.

Trust me without wondering.

Love me without restrictions.

A love like that, will be eternal.

Elements of lasting relationships include: awareness, trust, complementarity, mutual affection, maturity, a healthy conflict resolution process and commitment.

12 thoughts on “Lifelong Commitment Contracts

  1. @Sarah
    Consider yourself lucky. Humans learn equally well from failure as they do from success. Consider this failed relationship to be the foundation for becoming more astute at selection. Best wishes to you :)

  2. i agree totally…
    i had been going out with my bf for 1 1/2 years.. my first proper relationship.. he cheated on me over chirstmas.. i only found out yesterday..he told me he cheated on me because i wouldnt have sex with him.. i now realized i hav wasted 1 1/2 years of my life.
    great post
    thx

  3. @K. Fields
    I also believe that some couples think that marriage is supposed to be a self tending and weed free rose garden. When they haven’t worked cooperatively at pruning the dead wood and encouraging new growth, they experience a jungle of thorns, but instead of coming together to work on their garden many just abandon it.

    There have been times for both of us in my marriage when things weren’t great on all levels. We chose to stay the course and it was our mutual affection for each other, not love and not sex, that pulled us through.

  4. (4) It may be more romantic to talk about love, but it’s important to remember that love is an emotion that waxes and wanes. Healthy relationships happen between two people who really like each other ie. mutual affection. When affection is mutual, it endures.

    This is so true..some believe that when the relationship is in a waning season that it’s the end, never thinking that it will get better again.

    Great Post! Thank-you! :)

  5. My first husband died in 1992 and I was single from then until 2000. During that time, I went on a deeply personal quest to gain both personal awareness. I realized during this time that I would not be able to partner with anyone because I had not become comfortable with myself. I really do believe you have to become in tune with yourself before you can tune into another person successfully.

    Melinda

  6. Hey Timethief, so sorry to hear about your accident over at Tamera’s place. I sincerely hope you continue to make a good(and full) recovery. Btw, this is a great blog. I’ve been over a few times but really should do so more often….

    On the matter of relationships; I agree with you on all the 6 points you mention but like all things in life it is easier said than done. Particularly in relation to allowing your partner to grow and change and to grant them the freedom to do so because that can result in fear and fear is often more destructive than the change itself…

  7. Awareness is one that is often ignored or lacking in the relationship. Without awareness of one’s self, you ofen times don’t have anything to bring to the relationship. A one sided relationship is no fun and won’t last very long. Great article!

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