Most folks tend to socialize with people of the same age and with similar interests. Most couples hang out with other couples. This isn’t the case with me. I live in a very small place with a low population so that may be a factor. I was raised in an extended family and friends lifestyle, wherein we were not ghettoized by age – we gravitated towards each other based on common interests. I have many interests so my friends range from teens to octogenarians.
One of my friends, who is and honor student in her mid-twenties, told me she would toss completing her college education right out the window if “Mr. Right” waved a diamond under her nose because she wants to have a family.
I gently reminded her that she’s the youngest of 2 children and that her parents will continue to pay for her education only while she lives at home. I also observed that she has no experience raising children, aside from what can be gained through occasional babysitting. Then she dropped her bomb.
She already has an internet crush on a man she has never met. Well, it seems they skipped some important steps in the development of their relationship.
We spoke at great length on several occasions and she finally agreed that they had skipped important steps and most of all and that she ought to meet him face to face before she became more emotionally committed.
I sent her the link to the Jung Marriage Test test which is based on Carl Jung and Isabel Myers-Briggs typological approach to personality. She passed it on to her crush and I have yet to hear back from her.
If you are interested in how the test is conducted, when answering questions, you choose one of two possible answers that you agree the most with. If you are not sure how to answer then the decision should be based on your most typical reaction or feeling in the given situation. You must respond to all the questions to get a reliable result. You press the “Score It” button after you are done answering the questions. Upon completion, you obtain online:
- Your type formula according to Carl Jung and Isabel Myers-Briggs typology along with the strengths of the preferences
- The description of your personality type
- The list of occupations and educational institutions where you can get relevant degree or training, most suitable for your personality type – Jung Career Indicator™
- You can also use the type formula and strength of the preferences to assess online compatibility with your mate in the Jung Marriage Test and Demo of the Marriage Test
Have you ever had a friend in a similar situation?
sulz
May 9, 2008
yes; i have a couple of friends who met their boyfriends through the internet. one of them is in a steady relationship, despite him only able to come down about once or twice a year. another one, he’s actually came to my country to live with her…
they are right now dating, but marriage is a plan in the near future – around the time he’s unable to stay in the country with his social pass. :D i’m sort of worried for my second friend, but the guy seems good and they look like they’re working things out very well at the moment… parents and church are aware of the relationship and gave their blessings…
i think she’s smart and mature enough to handle an unconventional relationship, but at the same time i know how silly and in denial people can be when it comes to love, so there’s that worry on my part as a friend…
brightfeather
May 9, 2008
There have always been long distance romances but I guess what concerns me most about my young friend is that she hasn’t met this guy face-to-face. She has made a huge emotional investment and I’d hate to see her “crushed”. Suppose that they aren’t really attracted to each other after a face-to-face meeting. I think it’s best to know whether or not that’s the case as early on as possible.
Nita
May 10, 2008
You gave the right advice to your friend. I think internet relationship leave a lot of be desired. On the internet one cannot even be sure of what the person looks like as photographs can be deceptive. One cannot make out the expression of the eyes. I can tell far more easily if a person is lying when the person is face to face than on the internet. On the internet all you can know is the superficial. It may or may not be a good start to the relationship.
It’s interesting what you say about friendship crossing age barriers. I too can relate to people of all ages!
brightfeather
May 11, 2008
@Nita
It’s good to hear your reassurance that my advice was sound. She has 2 more years until she has her degree and I’m sure that if she abandons her education now she will regret it later. She’s “love sick” and hormone driven. I really don’t think she’s thinking clearly and I told her that.
There have always been long distance romances and many have endured and become actualized and long standing. The internet is where people meet and I’m sure cyber courtship is here to stay and will be on the increase.
I tried to emphasize this: Realize that what you see online isn’t the whole picture. There are many characteristics that make up a person. Online typing does not afford the experience of a person’s temperament, work ethic, parenting skills, or personal habits.
Adam in a comment last year shared his opinion that it’s really important to meet face-to-face early on in the relationship. Britgirl also confirmed this as well.
As she’s just at the end of her term I expect to hear from her again soon. I’m encouraging her to travel and meet him.
Thanks for commenting and please come again soon. :)
Ben (Ozscot)
May 11, 2008
This is less a comment on the specific article and more on the ‘general’ blog – You have a terrific writing style and I suspect could turn your hand to writing about anything should you choose to – I’m really impressed – I don’t mean to sound patronising when I say that – I just feel it has to be said.
Ben
brightfeather
May 12, 2008
Hi Ben,
Thanks for the visit and for the kind words. They are much appreciated. :)
Nards
May 12, 2008
Like Ben, I also enjoyed my visit. Lady, I like your style! -Nards
brightfeather
May 13, 2008
I love your style Nards and I’m sending you a [huge HUG]. :)