this time ~ this space

Suicide is painless?
When you first wrote about suicide I was loathe to say a word. I knew that your symptoms were indicative of depression. I was so upset that you were self medicating with beer that I did not know what to say to you. Understand that I was not silent because I did not care, I was silent because I’m not a professional counselor and I was afraid that if I shouted at you “Wake up — you are in a state of denial, ” that I would make things worse for you.

When I did speak up, after you wrote again, I was afraid you would find my comment harsh and interpret it to be rejection. It was a “wake-up” call.

“I let this sit here for awhile before responding of it. The long and short of this is that you are an intelligent man and you know that the symptoms you report above are classical symptoms of depression. Granted, you do not want to call it by that name because you are in a state of denial. You are self-medicating with a depressive substance - beer. What more need I say? You will either stop bull shitting yourself and get the help you need or you won’t. Nothing I say on the subject will matter a whit so all I can do is send you my best wishes for a sudden fall and speedy recovery.”

I was encouraged when I read your next post on this because it sounded like you heard the wake up call so I sent you a [GREAT BIG HUG] that you accepted.

I hope you don’t mind but the comment I began to write today in response to Bipolar anyone? became so lengthy that it’s really a blog post.

There were two other factors that kept me from speaking up at first. One was the fact that we do not really know each other well. We are just becoming acquainted. The other may sound trite but it’s not. We live in different timezones so when I’m just barely waking and drinking my morning coffee (I love coffee but allow myself only one cup per day) and, I read a post that disturbs me, my inclination is to want to go back to bed and pull the covers over my head. How’s that for a strong denial reaction, eh? Yours was a cry for “help” and what I wanted to do was to run and hide.

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I’ve made the acquaintance of blogger whose blog I really admire. The blog is called Pentad: Simplifying Life and Love and today the blogger, Tamera introduced a guest author:

“I asked a fellow writer to guest at Pentad, and I asked him to give us a glimpse inside the heart of a man. A glimpse of love, acceptance, and even non-acceptance. Welcome to a well-written piece by, Floog from Floog’s Ramblings. And, Ladies. Champagne and kleenex boxes are at the front door! Read the full article.

I found the article to be special because so few men will share on topics like acceptance, love and the experience of rejection and relationship dissolution. I appreciated how he explored all aspects of his former relationship in depth and with honesty, compassion and a sense of humor. I came away with the conclusion that the differences between men and women are exaggerated. Floog’s writing convinced me that our core there are more similarities than we care to acknowledge.

Links to related posts are found on this page.