The internet has its share of love and heartache. With so many people using the internet odds are against you, but you may find your mate, provided you use common sense, a lot of patience, and a willingness to take a budding online relationship into the real world.

Adam has given us some advice derived from his own experience in his post.

Relationship expert John Gray identifies the five stages of dating in his book Mars and Venus on a Date.

Stage one: Attraction. In stage one of dating, we experience our initial attraction to a potential partner. The challenge in this first stage is to make sure you get the opportunity to express that attraction and get to know a potential partner.

Stage two: Uncertainty. In stage two, we experience a shift from feeling attraction to feeling uncertain that our partner is right for us. The challenge in this stage is to recognize this uncertainty as normal and not be swayed by it. [...] Without an understanding of this stage, it is too easy for a man to drift from one partner to another or for a woman to make the mistake of pursuing a man more than he is pursuing her.

Stage three: exclusivity. In stage three we feel a desire to date a person exclusively. We want the opportunity to give and receive love in a special relationship without competition. […] The danger in this stage is that we become too comfortable and stop doing the little things that make our partners feel special.

Stage four: Intimacy. In stage four we begin to experience real intimacy. We feel relaxed to let down our guard and share ourselves more deeply than before.

Stage five: Engagement. In stage five, with the certainty that we are with the person we want to marry, we become engaged. In this stage we have the opportunity to celebrate love.

Each step must be realized for both parties in order to have a complete and fulfilling relationship.

Skipping Important Steps
Applying Gray’s stages, we can identify a recurring problem with online relationships. There is a tendency for rapid movement from attraction (stage one) to intimacy (stage four), skipping the uncertainty and exclusivity stages almost entirely.

Here is a common comment from online lovers: “We instantly connected somehow. I feel we’ve known each other forever. I feel I can talk to them about anything.” The illusion is that there is a solid foundation for the intimacy of a relationship. The online lovers fear that slowing the pace of the relationship will ruin the magic. However, these relationships often end suddenly when one partner realizes disappointment.

In order to avoid such extreme disappointments, internet relationships should be considered incomplete relationships. A person who desires to meet potential mates online must be prepared to meet off line as well. After all, humans are based in real world situations. It is impossible to experience the entirety of another individual through a screen and keyboard.

Here are some other suggestions for successful online dating:

1. Be safety and security conscious. Do not readily make available your name, address, phone and social security number online.
2. Beware of “players.” Not everyone on the Internet is honest and decent. Be cautious with your safety as well as your heart. To some people, an online romance is a game. Look for inconsistencies in what they say, or pressure for you to do something that you are uncomfortable with.
3. Dishonest is not the same as anonymous. It is appropriate to remain anonymous online until you establish mutual trust. However, it is not right to be dishonest, especially regarding your marital status.
4. Practice courtesy. Don’t think that the anonymity of the internet allows you to be invasive. Demanding to know someone’s weight, age, or sexual secrets is as rude online as it is off line.
5. Realize that what you see online isn’t the whole picture. There are many characteristics that make up a person. Online typing does not afford the experience of a person’s temperament, work ethic, parenting skills, or bad breath. Keep everything in perspective and don’t fall in love too quickly with the person you’ve envisioned.
6. Avoid intimate online conversations until later. The sense of anonymity frees individuals to speak more frankly than they would in person. However, a relationship should progress at a comfortable pace. If you confess all your inner secrets to your new online lover, you might later regret it during your first face-to-face encounter.
7. Don’t make hasty commitments. “Love at first type” is romantic, but not always realistic. Take your time and do it right.
8. Consider free online dating web sites. Most of these are divided into major cities or geographical areas, increasing the chance of finding the right person locally. Also, because there is more of an expectation to meet in real time, there are fewer lurkers. However, as with dating services, you must contend with candidates with less-than-noble motives. Always be aware.
9. Make friends. You will certainly meet many people that aren’t right for you, but they are still interesting. The Internet is a great place to make friends.
10. Meet early. Once you like someone online and they like you, progress to a real time meeting. Until you hit it off on all levels, keep your options open.
11. When you meet in real time (RT), play it safe. Remember that you are meeting a stranger. Opt for public places, such as a restaurant. Or consider bringing along a friend.

Reference: Cyber Love: What is Real & What is Virtual

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