Choosy Females and Competitive Males
Speed Dating - The first speed-dating event took place at Pete’s Café in Beverly Hills in late 1998. Soon afterward, several commercial services began offering secular round-robin dating events across the United States. By 2000, speed dating had really taken off, perhaps boosted by its portrayal in shows such as Sex and the City as something that glamorous people did. Supporters argue that speed dating saves time, as most people decide if they are romantically compatible very quickly, and first impressions are often permanent.Researchers led by Todd report in Tuesday’s edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences that their study found humans were similar to most other mammals, “following Darwin’s principle of choosy females and competitive males, even if humans say something different.”Their study involved 26 men and 20 women in Munich, Germany, who ranged in age from 26 to their early 40s. They all took part in “speed dating,” short meetings of three to seven minutes in which people chat, then move on to meet another dater. Afterward, participants check off the people they’d like to meet again, and dates can be arranged between pairs who select one another.Prior to the session participants were asked to fill out a questionnaire about what they were looking for in a mate. The questionnaire listed wealth and status, family commitment, physical appearance, healthiness and attractiveness. Following the “speed dating” session researchers compared what the participants said they were looking for with the people they actually chose to ask for another date.
On one hand, men appeared to base their decisions mostly on the women’s physical attractiveness and also seemed at be much less choosy. They tended to select nearly every woman above a certain minimum attractiveness threshold. And more importantly, the men’s choices did not reflect their stated preferences.
On the other hand, women’s actual choices, just like the men’s, did not reflect their stated preferences either but they were more discriminating. Interestingly, women were aware of the importance of their own attractiveness to men, and adjusted their expectations to select the more desirable guys. They made offers to men who had overall qualities that were on a par with their own attractiveness.
No matter how you cut it most like ‘em hot.
References:
Men still go for looks, women for wealth
Study: Men Men Go for Good Looks
Daters’ Mixed Motivations Debunked
Women ‘choosier’ over partnersRelated blog posts:
Tarot Cards - The Lovers
Macho Men Didn’t Meet the Mating Muster
When it Comes to Marrying Muscles Don’t Matter
Sep 5th, 2007 at 12:08 am
Its nice to hear that generally the preconceived notion that one has about the kind of man or woman one wants changes when one actually meets the person. Happened with me too…and thats why I believe in instinct. Our primal instinct can be quite awesome…can lead us down the garden path as well if one has a self-destructive mentality! Or it can result in life long happiness. So in case of the former, one should be careful to go by the preferences which are already thought out…but easier said than done!
Sep 5th, 2007 at 1:56 am
I would think speed dating represents the very antithesis of what is needed to kick start a serious relationship. But for hot kids who need to get off with a minimum of formality - its prolly ideal :)
Sep 5th, 2007 at 7:32 pm
@Nita
I rely on information/logic and intuition/instinct when it comes to forming relationships. And as I age my inclination to trust my intuitiveness is growing an becoming the more dominant determinant.
@Root
I do agree with you. In fact I find it astonishing that any adult would think these 3-7 minute receiving line marathons would produce the stuff a serious relationship could be built upon. Interestingly, speed dating “meet-ups” are aimed at “professionals” and not at kids.
Sep 9th, 2007 at 5:49 pm
(Hors d’oeuvre: salt, ’cause I haven’t done it.) The point of speed dating isn’t making a basis for a serious relationship, it’s paring out from the multitudes a few possibilities for further exploration. From the millions of people around you, you hope to find a few who are also looking, who share a passing attraction, and who meet certain minimum standards, vice making approaches (or sending out signals) at a bar. It’s failure is certainly the tendency to eliminate those you may otherwise enjoy after you’ve related to them on a more casual level.
Base building begins with the first real date, when you get a chance to share a real conversation. Speed dating just gets you some numbers.
Sep 9th, 2007 at 8:51 pm
Yours is the first comment I’ve received in support of speed dating. While it doesn’t appeal to me neither do bars and as you observe it may help narrow the field. The interesting part is that both the men and women surveyed strayed far from their stated preferences on the questionnaires they completed when put to the test. I’m wondering why that was. I’m wondering why attractiveness became the “trump card” when choices were made.
Sep 10th, 2007 at 5:01 am
Of course one of the interesting things about this is that in other posts folk have been contemplating and sharing experiences on meeting online where presumably the experience is totally based on textual dialogue with possibly a photograph or two at most. That would have to be right at the opposite end of the relationship experience to speed dating where presumably the opposite applies. I do not know apropos speed dating - and thank heavens I am never likely to find out - if I could handle the rejection by people who I didnt like anyway :) Speed dating is a cattle market.
Nothing wrong with that if you are a young impatient professional in search of expeditious hot dates - - but most of my good relationships would not have passed the speed dating test on one side or the other :) But lets not dress it up into some kind of meaningful experience. Nathan: You need to get out more:)