Raincoaster has posted an excellent article entitled Vacate the Premises .

In any case, the Marshfield Clinic in Wisconson has released a study which shows that women who take one or two vacations a year are less likely to experience clinical depression than those who take one every two years. Interestingly, marital satisfaction decreased with decreased vacations as well. Hmmmmmmm.

Joblessness, rootlessness, and poverty are themselves isolating and depressing, so I want you to think long and hard about this.

Do you know someone who lives in a completely different environment from you, even if it’s just Richmond? Can you do a house swap for a week, house sit while they’re away, or couch surf in exchange for babysitting? A possible vacation exists for all budgets.

There are articles all over the web that extol the virtues of taking a vacation with your spouse away form the hub bub and family obligations at home. All of them claim you will improve your sex life and some even claim you will experience a “sexual re-awakening” during your vacation with your spouse.

On the other hand, there are articles all over the web stating : Separate vacations? Isn’t that a prelude to divorce? These are followed by: many therapists say it’s an indicator of a long and happy marriage. When you see each other every day, you may fail to see each other at all. Separate vacations help you become your own person again — the one your spouse fell in love with.

According to psychiatrists and other therapists who have observed how vacations affect their clients, couples have unrealistic expectations about what vacations can accomplish. They think that by going off to some romantic spot together, all their problems will disappear. This doesn’t happen because they bring their problems and styles of coping along. In fact, according to some clinical psychologists marital problems sometimes surface or intensify on vacation.

Dr. Ruth Peters classic advice on how to design separate vacations that can be rejuvenating for both you and your mate is :

… separate vacations should be an addition to your life — not an escape. In terms of taking occasional separate vacations, the bottom line is this — good relationships cost — financially and emotionally. The expenditure for love is not insisting on having your own way all of the time, and being willing to compromise in order to please your partner. This does not mean changing your core values, constantly giving in and faking your agreement. This means honest communication and a willingness to see things from the other’s perspective, to take some risks and to have trust in your marriage.

Marriage, or indeed any committed monogamous relationship, doesn’t mean you have to give up all independent activity: school, career, hobbies, friends, or even separate vacations. What it does mean is being willing to cooperate and give up some things to accommodate the other person. After all, we usually don’t share our life with someone who sees the world exactly the way we do.

Beloved and I have always operated independently and as a child-free couple we have always had the time and inclination to dote on each other as well.

So, why all this introspection?

My sister (bless her - may she live long and prosper) has gifted me with an all expenses paid vacation at her home for just me. And, as the time draws near for me to depart and leave my Beloved behind I find that we have become “sexually re-awakened” due to the anticipation of being separated and going without for a fortnight.

Ahhh … the joys of the simple life.

Like scouts we will be well prepared for the separation and like guides we’ll be anticipating the homecoming.