Compliments cost nothing but are invaluable. Learning this small, simple skill of giving away compliments can change the way you view yourself and the world around you. It will strengthen your relationships and increase your self-confidence.
Compliments are defined as gracious words, given freely, which create happiness for both the giver and the receiver. They are based on the universal truth – everyone appreciates recognition, kindness and gratitude.
Giving away compliments is both habit forming and contagious. Once you make this gifting your everyday practice you will notice others around you will tend to follow suit.
Each time you give a compliment, you focus completely on the other person. You actively look for positive traits or attributes and specific examples.
In many places employees and/ or volunteers only hear when things go wrong. Consider these questions about your current employees and/ or volunteers and co-workers and then, sit down prepare to write each one a note.
- What does she/he add to your organization?
- How has she/he improved lately?
- Why are you glad she/he is present?
- What would you miss if she/he were to leave?
- Now how can you summarize express what you have determined as a compliment?
Not sure what to say? Here are a few compliments to chose from. Try adding a specific example to custom design it for the compliment receiver. Notice that all these compliments start with the same word. It’s a gentle reminder that compliment giving is about others.
- …are a terrific (co-worker, friend, etc.)
- …make working on a project a joy.
- …are very creative.
- …have a great way with words.
- …have a well deserved reputation.
- … have wealth of information
- …have great ideas.
- …are a good listener.
- …are bright.
- …are cheerful.
- …are polite.
- …are patient.
- …are insightful.
- …are reliable.
- …are very intelligent.
- …are witty.
- …are kind.
- …are a good role model.
- …are very astute.
- …are funny.
- …motivate me.
- …are unique.
- …are strong.
- …are courageous.
- …have a terrific outlook on life.
- …are fun to be with.
- …make me smile.
- …are important to me.
Sample Compliments – Up Close and Personal
- I appreciate your help in this difficult and painful situation because an understanding friend is better than a therapist.
- I have benefited from your work and helpfulness as have others and I want to thank you for all you contribute to our group.
- I want to thank you for sharing your positive attitude (dedication, experience, expertise, honesty, insight, inspiration, observations, patience, skills, etc.) .
- I’ve learned a good deal from our exchange and I want to thank you for teaching me that listening is just important as talking.
- I want to thank you for honoring us both in our disagreement by remaining focused on the current situation and not bringing up the past.
Links to related blog posts in the Self Help Series.