My husband and I decided years ago that we would remain child-free and we have never regretted that choice. As two older children from large families we both had plenty of experience when it came to raising our younger siblings.

Both at work and in our personal lives we have been expected to contribute financially to children’s organizations and we have given freely of our funds and time. We have had lots of hands-on experience volunteering in children’s clubs.

We have benefited from the good times we had with the kids. And those we came into such close contact with valued our relationship so highly that they still drop in to visit us now that they are headed off to highschool.

However, there have been many “breeders” who have not respected our choice. They were in a state of denial. They were just to closed minded to foresee how happy together and how devoted to one another childfree couples can be.

A few (impaired by their religious brainwashing) told us our choice was “un-Godly”.

Some told us we would be missing something “special” in our lives.

Others told us not wanting children is “unnatural”.

Still others told us not having children means we are “selfish”.

It was and still is hard not to laugh out loud at these types because they all have the same thing in common — closed minds. They are deluded by their belief that producing little images of themselves is a selfless, natural act blessed by God — a service to humanity.

Well, as the Dalai Lama said:

The mind is like a parachute, it works best when it is opened.

We live in an overpopulated world. The children born today are among those who will devour 80% of the planet’s resources. Moreover, given the state of the environment, we ought to think it’s perverse that children today are being falsely taught that the hormonal drive to reproduce evident in all animal species is “special”; and that, those who do not choose to breed are “selfish”.

It’s clear how this state of affairs came to be. Between 1960 when “the pill” was introduced and 2007 a stigma against childfree couples, based on the same old religious saws has become deeply entrenched in our society.

There are many reasons to choose not to have children and when couples make the childfree choice that choice should be respected. For interest sake I searched the web and came up with a survey that contains all the reasons we made the choice to remain childfree. And, I’m now going to share them with you.

Between November 2004-July 2006 Laura S. Scott conducted a Childless by Choice Survey. 171 self-selected, voluntarily childless/childfree individuals (single, partnered and married) living in the U.S. and Canada participated in the survey 121 (71%) of the respondents were women and 50 (29%) of the respondents were men.

Participants were asked to rate eighteen statements reflecting frequently cited motivations for remaining childless on a Likert scale from 0-5, to the degree to which they identified with that statement or the degree to which it applied to them in the course of their decision making. A zero rating would indicate that the motive statement was not applicable or that the respondent did not identify at all with that statement. A higher number would indicate the relative degree to which the respondent identified with the statement, a rating of five indicating a very strong identification with the statement or an acknowledgment that it is, or was, a primary motivator in the decision to be childless/childfree.

The respondents rated the following 18 motivation statements and were invited to add their own:

• My lifestyle/career is incompatible with raising children.
• I value freedom and independence.
• I can better serve myself by not having children.
• I can better serve the world by not having children.
• I have no desire to have a child, no maternal/paternal instinct.
• The costs outweigh the benefits, financially and otherwise.
• I don’t think I would make a good parent.
• I don’t enjoy being around children.
• I am concerned about the physical risks of childbirth and recovery.
• I have seen or experienced first hand the effects of bad or unintentional parenting, and I don’t want to risk the chance that I might perpetuate that situation.
• My partner does not want kids.
• I love our life, our relationship as it is, and having a child won’t enhance it.
• I delayed having children and eventually decided I wanted to remain childless.
• I want to focus my time and energy on my own interests, needs or goals.
• I do not want to take on the responsibility of raising a child.
• I want to accomplish/experience things in life that would be difficult to do if I was a parent.
• I am concerned about the state of our world and I do not think it would be wise to bring a child into it.
• People I know have not realized the rewards they expected as a parent.

As for the survey results, you’ll have to use the link above to read them.

Childfree and loving it
I began saying, my husband and I do not regret our child-free state. I’m conclude saying, ‘au contraire’ — we celebrate it.